We're
heading to the city in a little while. My twin grandgirls are having
their Bat Mitzvah this weekend. The Bat Mitzvah is a coming of age
ceremony in Judaism that up until modern times was exclusively for
boys. Only boys and men are commanded in the Torah to study the
Torah (the religious writings also known as the 'old testament') and
the other religious books, the Haftorah, the Mishna and the Talmud.
I
would go to Torah study while my kids were in religious school to
avoid all the driving back and forth and also because I was very
interested in the origins of religions back then. One day I asked
the Rabbi why only the men were commanded by god to study the
commands of god. He told me because women were closer to god and
would do what was right by nature. Only the men had to be taught
what was right. Maybe that's why they felt the need to subjugate us.
I also asked him how Lot could be considered a righteous man when he
offered his virgin daughters to strangers for sex, but he just sort
of brushed off that one saying times were different then. But
we're still supposed to follow all those ancient rules.
Anyway,
back to the subject at hand.
The
Bat Mitzvah (Bar Mitzvah for boys) is as I said, a coming of age
ceremony. The celebrant leads the Shabbat service, reads from the
torah, gives a little sermon and is considered an adult in the eyes
of god and the community. Bad behavior is no longer excused because
you are too young to know better and you are responsible for your
actions and the consequences of those actions.
One
of the things I liked about Judaism is that any adult can conduct
services. There is no requirement to have an ordained religious
leader. They, do, of course, have those, but Rabbis are considered
teachers, the most learned among them and not the spokesman of god.
But
Judaism is, in the end, still a religion and I just don't do
religion. I chose to raise my kids in the Jewish tradition, their
father is Jewish, because even though I don't care for religion, I
thought they should have some kind of foundation, mostly to protect
them from the allure of cults. Cults were big when I was a young
adult and I saw lots of rootless kids get sucked up by them. I fully
expected them, as adults, to question and even forego religion
altogether as I did.
So
now I am about to see my grandgirls Bat Mitzvah. They will start the
day as children and end it as adults. This is not an easy thing to
do. They have been going to extra classes twice a week for three
years to prepare for this day.
We
are very proud of them.
How interesting that your kids adhered to their religion even though you as a parent were unattached to its structure and some of the ideas. Still, you are a spiritual person, and a thinker, the most important part of religion.
ReplyDeleteCongratulation on the twins' Bat Mitzvah; it is a real accomplishment.
Religion is a difficult thing...you give the basics, then they will have to make their own decision ...Unfortunately too many adults never think for themselves and just go along for the ride...
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your evening Ellen - I live in a predominantly Orthodox Jewish area over here but I hadn't heard of Bat Mitvah before, only the one for the boys.
ReplyDeleteOf course your would be proud of them.
ReplyDeleteI find your rational for basing your kids faith in Judiasm [or any mainstream religion] to avoid cults very interesting, [something I have never heard of actually] although you don't believe in religion, per se.
I guess it worked?
PS - yes, I have heard of cults - never heard of your method for avoiding is what I meant. Sorry I wasn't clear.
ReplyDeletein my own experience, religion is a good place to begin the process of questioning . . . . steven
ReplyDeleteHope you have a cool party- Rites of passage are sorely missing in our non culture- I think that inventing your own is preferable to religious ones and I am sure you have made that clear to the kids. Be glad!
ReplyDeleteWhen they pass into adult life it is also up to them to continue study if they like.I let my children choose what they wanted, but still discussed different ideologies.
ReplyDeleteoh, congrats to your granddaughters!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a lovely weekend, and I hope the ceremony is a great blessing for the whole family!
ReplyDeleteI find religion endlessly fascinating, not as an adherent of any particular one but as an observer of the customs and traditions.
ReplyDeleteI think customs and traditions are very important, as are the teachings of all of them (has there ever been a religion which teaches to do wrong?). 'Belonging' is important to anchor so many of us.
Congratulations to the whole family; may the girls flourish and may their lives be fruitful and happy.
I guess your granddaughters will choose for themselves in the future. As for now, they are learning that rules are supposed to help you live a good life.
ReplyDeleteI'm fascinated by the Rabbi's answer to you about women. On the surface it seems really nice - but I'm left feeling kind of like it was condescending. On the other hand, I like it better than the traditional protestant take on women :)
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great time & that the girls enjoyed their day.
Oh Ellen~ how proud indeed you must be!
ReplyDeleteI too found your Rabbi's answer very interesting.
In my Catholic practice, we call our coming of age, Confirmation. It is when children (usually around the age of 14,15)after a year of deeper study of our Faith, make their religious decision, of being confirmed as a Catholic. Their parents are no longer responsible, rather they are now, for their religious choice.
Raised Methodist, I had urges toward Catholicism during my college years, but couldn't abide the patriarchal structure or their attitude toward women. I ended as a Luther-an, hyphenated because Luther himself had a way of understanding the world that appealed to me. None of this either/or business. He was all both/and.
ReplyDeleteIn any event, your girls may take their own circuitous paths, but now those paths are truly before them, open and exciting. Congratulations to all of you for what they've accomplished, and best wishes for a happy and secure future.
"times were different then"
ReplyDeleteWhat an answer! It was okay then for righteous men to allow their daughters to be raped and murdered, so what's your problem with it! I'm practically rolling with laughter.
I don't know if you can protect your kids from cults by giving them a minimal exposure to religion anymore than if you raised them as atheists. I can sure understand why you would want to try though.
I'm with you and Snowbrush -- the "different times" argument just boggles the mind. But it is an accomplishment to learn to read the Torah in Hebrew and to choose a passage to read and give a sermon about, so kudos to your grand-girls.
ReplyDeleteI am not religious either, but I have always been fascinated with Judaism. There are so many situations, like that of Lot, that I question in religion.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the girls, though! They have accomplished what they set out to do and that's a great quality :)!
Please don't be cross, but I have nominated you for a meme. The details are here, I really hope you give it a whirl.
ReplyDeleteEllen I had never heard of this for girls so I have to say even though I am not Jewish, this makes me very excited. I always wondered why it was just for boys. Congratulations to the girls, it will be a very important day for them. hope you are well. take care.
ReplyDeleteIt is a wonderful tradition to celebrate. I, too, have asked questions, where I recieved no answers. I have to say I love the answer to the first question..."women were closer to God and would do what was right by nature"
ReplyDeleteYou must be very proud of them, Ellen. Mazel Tov to the twins and their supportive family.
ReplyDelete