Everyone was right and I enjoyed myself much more that I thought I would. And I definitely gave them a peek at the real me. Probably shouldn't have done that. 'That' being taking my blouse off halfway through the meal at the dining room table where half of us were sitting conversing and eating.
OK, is everyone finished spitting out their drink or choking? I had on a white tank top underneath. Fortunately the group at that table (the rest were sitting at the table in the eat in kitchen) were the guys I work with in the back and their spouses and the hostess who works up front. I apologized (only took me about 10 tries to spell this word correctly) in advance to the table saying I had to take this off because I was just too hot and then pulled it off over my head. There was a moment of stunned silence when one of the guys said “we're all friends here” and the conversation resumed as if nothing had happened. I did put it back on after we all got up from the table. I had wanted to dress up a little and the clothes I had chosen were way too warm but I thought I would be fine in an air conditioned house only they had cathedral ceilings and it was not exactly cool.
So back home, I'm reviewing the evening and I am a little shocked myself at myself. I can't believe I did that. I don't know why, I do shit like that all the time. So a sleepless night wondering what they all thought of me and the next day I sent this text to the hostess:
Hi XXXXX. First I want to say it was a lovely party and I had a really good time. Second I want to acknowledge that I shocked everyone when I took my blouse off though I knew I had a tank top on underneath and didn’t think wearing just that was indecent but when I got home thinking about the evening I sort of shocked myself in retrospect. I’d blame it on dementia but doing something spontaneous and inappropriate that seemed imperative at the time is something I’ve done many times in my life. My filter breaks down I suppose. Anyway, I had a sleepless night on the ass kicking machine. So for that I apologize.
But let me make an attempt at understanding where my head was at. I take two meds that one of the side effects is intolerance to heat. It doesn’t affect me all the time but Friday was a particularly bad day and coupled with my poor choice of clothes for the evening and how warm it was in the dining room I felt like I was radiating heat and was a small step from physical unwellness and my brain said cool off now! I was so appreciative of everyone at the table just moving on as if nothing had happened.
When I do stuff like that I just have to brazen on through. At the very least I gave you a story to tell.
She was kind enough to reply with this:
Oh my, I am so sorry you lost sleep over this! It was not inappropriate. I wear a camisole often, so it was not offensive at all. We owe you an apology—XXXXX noticed today that the vent in the dining room was closed. Guess he had done that a long time ago to try to route the air better to the kitchen (we seldom use the dining room). I was anxious to tell you this on Thursday. 1) I’m sorry you were so hot 2) I’m so sorry you have worried this 3) you certainly are welcome back in our home anytime.
Please do not worry about this for one more second!!!
So now I'm waiting to see what kind of ribbing I get on Thursday.
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In other news Rocky finally came on Saturday and fixed the cracked pipe that brings water into the shop so now I have water in the studio and a functioning toilet.
No more having to pee behind the shop. Yay! So while Rocky was working on that I filled another trash bag, emptied another metal shelving unit, added quite a bit to the trash pile to take to the transfer station, tossed a few things on the burn pile. This particular shelving unit is rusty since it was against the wall where the roof leaks so I brushed it off, sprayed it with Ospho in preparation for painting before I move it into the empty space to the left of the studio. Still too hot to work over there today, temp still climbing to the high of 90˚ but a front is moving in this evening dropping the low to 45˚ so next week I can get more work done over there.
I took a new selfie for my profile pic on FB yesterday.
What's blooming...
four o'clocks and mistflower
the large array with cosmos
and the morning glory bush.
I love your new selfie! I probably would have taken my shirt off too in those circumstances - and possibly wouldn't even have thought anything of it. Or if I DID think it was weird I would think it's about time those folks met the real me. But next time you should just say "I'm wearing too many layers - I'll have to remove the top one." That way it's like you're taking off a jacket or something. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteI think it was the difference between shrugging off a flannel shirt and pulling a blouse off over my head. the first, no big deal, but the second felt sort of like disrobing.
DeleteThis is so great, Ellen! Really, you didn't do anything wrong. Anyone who's had a hot flash (I know that's not what you had but I'm sure it was similar) can absolutely relate. Now let me tell you my story- This was from around 1973 so I was about nineteen. I was volunteering at a place on the University of Denver campus called The Open Clinic. We took calls from people with questions that were usually about either STD's or drugs. We also did volunteer first aid work at concerts where we'd wear a T-shirt with Mr. Natural on it saying, "Open Clinic!" from a voice ballon. After one night's first aid work, we were at one of the volunteer's apartments and I was wearing a sweater over my Open Clinic shirt. I'd put it on after the concert because it was cold outside. The apartment was warm and so I pulled it off head (no buttons) and with it came the t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteAlas. I was wearing no bra.
I don't think I've ever told anyone that story. I was mortified. Truly. Now, finally I can laugh. So see- your story is not bad at all! But it is funny.
oh Mary, I can totally relate. back when I was married the first time and we were living on that acre in the woods and it was the middle of summer and I was out there all day by myself because my ex was supposed to be in town working or looking for a job. we had made some friends in town and I would tell them to come out and visit me. well, one day I was doing the dishes with my hands in the hot water and sweat was just pouring off me and so I just stripped down and was standing there completely buck naked doing dishes when one of the guys from town came around the side and to the open door (that of course faced away from the approach to the hut) and there we were, face to face, me nekkid. I hadn't heard him approach. Oh hello as I reached over and got a robe and put it on, both of us trying not to freak out.
DeleteI guess maybe it wasn't as shocking to them as I imagined and maybe it was because I felt underdressed but not indecent at the table but this is a very churchy group. we stood in a circle while one of the men said a prayer of thanks before we served ourselves.
37paddington: I hope Mary’s story made you feel better Ellen, because you did nothing wrong at all! You had on a tank top! I’m glad your host wrote back so graciously, but sorry you had a sleepless night over it. Love the new selfie with the rainbow on your forehead. Very groovy.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have thought anything about it if I had been in the habit of socializing with these people instead of just working with them once a week. three of the other women at the table have assured me there was no weirdness.
DeleteI didn't realize the prism was on my face until I held my phone camera up. my third eye shining through.
My only regret is that you didn’t take pictures!
ReplyDeleteI'll see what I can do if it happens again.
DeleteNo need to agonize! One of my music friends was always tearing her clothes off when we got under way and the stress got her heated up. We always wondered if she'd remember what she was wearing, and not accidentally go topless!
ReplyDeleteI hardly ever wear white and the only reason I had the undershirt on was because the blouse, also white, was a little sheer so I'm glad I had it on. if I had been in the habit of socializing with these people I might not have felt so weird but this was the first time with this group in someone's home. also, pulling the blouse over my head felt like undressing as opposed to just shrugging off a shirt.
DeleteLOL at Mary Moon ... That's really showing them, eh, Mary? Oh, to be young and perky of breasts once again!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you, Ellen, were amongst friends and you only took off the blouse, not everything like Mary Moon did in her younger day!
The things we can fret about 🤦!
The hostess was most gracious!! You are not banned!
you should go back and read my reply to Mary. I had my own moment when I was 24 only it wasn't just boobs.
DeleteI guess we all have stories to tell. But after you were gracious enough to join in their prayer circle, and probably even bowed your head, you're welcome to whip off your shirt over your head. And those flowers still look grand.
ReplyDeletenope did not bow my head or say amen. I figure it's enough to just stand there quietly while they go on.
DeleteNow, that's a story. I can't imagine doing such a thing myself, but if I had I'd probably still be in the house with the blinds down and the phone turned off. Good for you for getting in touch with the hostess; her response was perfect. I'll bet they check the vents in the house before their next dinner party, too!
ReplyDeleteI suspect you're not hot this morning. We're down to 48F this morning -- a nearly 40 degree drop from yesterday afternoon. My place still is at 74 inside, but there's little question the heat will have to get turned on later today to be sure it's still working.
68 in my house when I got up. last I looked it had dropped a degree. you know, if I had just been wearing a shirt I could shrug off but pulling it over my head felt like getting undressed. apparently, according to three of the other women at the table, there was no shock or stunned silence so I guess I was just projecting my own emotion.
DeleteApart from a short period of time when I was teenager - novelty etc. - I didn't wear a bra until I was 31 and we lived in rural NW India for a couple of months. The NGO the man was working for had advised me that not wearing a bra and showing bare upper arms was considered rude to the local women. But showing your midriff was expected.
ReplyDeleteWhen my teenage daughter spent a summer near Boston she was told by several people that she cannot use the public pool without shaving her legs first. All sorts of culture, we live and learn.
So what the problem with a tank top???
funny how different cultures consider exposing some parts of the body bad and some expected. and how weird that your daughter was told to shave her legs before getting in the pool when they didn't require it of men. women's leg hair is somehow dirtier? I stopped wearing makeup and stopped shaving my legs and armpits when I was about 19 or 20. it pissed me off that women were expected to do all that to be considered attractive when men just went about in their natural bodies. I never shaved again to this day. of course, now at 73, I have no armpit hair or discernable leg hair. still have plenty of pubic hair though.
Deleteand the tank wasn't really a problem, just all of a sudden I had all this exposed skin while everyone else was dressed modestly. and as several of the women at the table have assured me there was no weirdness, it was all in my head.
DeleteWe might have snow tomorrow so no stripping here, Ellen! :)
ReplyDeleteI would have gone to the bathroom to take off the top and sponge off but you needed to get cooler fast so no worries!
we dropped over 40 overnight and it's currently 48 so no stripping here either. in fact my quip after taking off my blouse was that I bet they didn't expect to see me get nekkid this evening.
DeleteI have almost the same story I did that at my in-laws dinner table with a snap shirt I just yanked it open. My father-in-law’s eyes were huge. And he kept looking at me all night like he was hoping I would do it again ! Haha.
ReplyDeletefunny. similar happened then. the husband host who had been sitting at the other table came in passing out dessert and gave me a most curious look, like what the heck is going on here.
DeleteOh, you made me laugh! As you know, I can't stand the heat either and would have done the same. It brought back a memory of when we had a cabin in Wisconsin and were there with a couple from Florida that we were friends with. Out to eat and HeWho knows no strangers struck up a onversation with the people at the table next to ours. They invited us for drinks, or should I say more drinks. Anyway, it was winter and near blizzard conditions as we followed the people to their cabin. Their cabin was much fancier than ours and we all took the tour and oohed and aahed appropriately. Then we were all sitting around the island in the kitchen as the husband was making drinks, his back to us. The wife was standing, facing her guests, when all of a sudden she yanked her sweater and shirt up to reveal nothing underneath! She was smiling broadly. I looked at my friend, Debbie and had my hand on HeWho's arm when Debbie grabbed Bob's arm and said, "Oh no, we can't stay. I forgot my medication!" It was a subdued ride home. Never saw them again, but I don't think drinks were all they wanted to share with us!
ReplyDeleteyou made me laugh in turn. yeah, I think they had something else on their agenda.
DeleteSo sorry about that Fauz pas. But in reality when all is explained from your meds to the closed vent it seems silly, does it not? I am glad that you wrote to clear the air. YOur flowers are lovely as always this time of year and that out side hosebib would not last a late fall up here.
ReplyDeleteit wouldn't last here either if I didn't insulate it which I'm in the process of doing, especially with the bitter winters we've had lately. actually it was insulated last winter but cracked anyway. hopefully I'll do a better job this time.
Delete