Friday, July 3, 2026

the heat is sapping any motivation I might have had



I didn’t sleep well Monday night. That’s not entirely true, I slept well Monday night when I finally managed to fall asleep somewhere around 3 AM, I think. Some of that was my fault fighting off sleep while I played games on my phone and then read for an hour. Always a mistake to fight off sleep because when I finally turn out the light sleep goes fuck you buddy, you pushed me away when I was here and ready so now I have better things to do. I was woken up Tuesday morning at 8 AM by Joe, who mows and trims the shop yard, calling to see if I wanted him to mow this week. After telling him yes I stumbled into the kitchen and told Marc I want a day off. From what he asked. From everything I told him. I didn’t get it.


Still had to do the grocery shopping for the week, still had to fix dinner that night, and around 3:15 there was a knock on the door. Carli from down the street came over to ask if I would walk Paisleigh down to her house so they could play. Carli is six to Paisleigh’s four. Unfortunately, we weren’t there long as an emergency came up and they had to leave so Paisleigh spent the rest of the afternoon with me at my house until Mikey was ready to close up the shop and go home.


The plan Wednesday was to do a Spec’s (liquor warehouse) and CostCo run. I also wanted to stop by Lowe’s on the way and either Michael’s at either shopping center. Neither of us particularly was eager to do that today so we put it off for next week justifying oarlock of enthusiasm for the shopping spree by claiming it’s a Wednesday before a holiday weekend and therefore everywhere will be crowded, as if CostCo isn’t always crowded. 


My reason for stopping at Lowe’s is I need several larger plastic planter pots which I can’t get locally so I went online to see about ordering them. I chose three of one size and two of a larger size totaling about $80. Selected for delivery, the three were eligible for free delivery while only one of the larger pots were. The shopping cart showed a delivery charge of $79 for that second ($20) pot for a total order that was only a dollar more. OK, not doing that. They can wait until next week.


I don’t know what motivated me to buy some Fritos corn chips, a can of chili Tuesday during the grocery shop, tired of all the usuals for lunch I guess and so Wednesday we had frito pie for lunch (corn chips, chili, chopped onion, shredded cheese; surely everyone knows what frito pie is) and I ate way more than I should have. And then Thursday afternoon Wednesday’s lunch came back to haunt me, at least I’m blaming it on the frito pie. Still suffering a little intestinal distress but at least I don’t have to be close to the bathroom today. I should have known better. We never hardly ever eat highly processed food. 


Well, my first attempt at painting the leaves for the shadow box project fell flat earlier. I worked on three of the five, didn’t finish any and decided I need to start over, just wasn’t happy with the way they were turning out so maybe I won’t start with the pale yellow undercoat. Anyway, there’s more to tell like the state of Montreal’s former property and a 100 objects post but I’ve been highly unmotivated this week and most of last. I haven't even been taking very many pictures but I have gotten a lot of reading done. I did get Pam's sundial repaired, the gnomen had broken off and I got it glued back on. It sits in my yard now though the sky today if mostly puffy clouds and a bit hazy from the Saharan dust that blows our way every summer so the shadow is indistinct, hard to tell the time. It's an hour off anyway because of daylight savings time.


Remember all that rain we got, weeks and weeks of rain after being in a drought condition? Two weeks with no rain and already the ground is cracking and I'm moving the sprinkler around.


Two book reviews:


Pendergast the Beginning by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child - This is the story of Special Agent Pendergast’s first case as an FBI agent. After the highly secretive government black ops group of which Pendergast was a member was disbanded, he was placed in the FBI and sent to the New Orleans Field Office where he was partnered with senior agent Chambers for mentoring. The first thing Pendergast does is expose the criminal wrongdoing of the second in command in the FO without consent getting himself and Chambers put on leave for a week. During that time they decide to investigate a 2 year old cold case and uncover a string of bizarre murders. Pendergast is not satisfied with just solving the case, he wants to understand the motive which leads him to suspect two of New Orlean’s leading citizens who have taken pains to destroy evidence of a period in their past.


The Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley - After Jess’ and her older half brother Ben’s mother died they went into foster care. Ben was adopted by a well to do family, Jess bounced around the foster care system. Now adults and mostly estranged, Jess is living hand to mouth and found herself in a situation from which she needed to leave London immediately and had just enough money to get to Paris where her brother Ben was living. Ben had told her to ring the bell when she arrived and he would give her the code to the gate, he would be waiting for her but by the time Jess arrived at the very fancy apartment building around a courtyard Ben was gone and was not answering his phone or responding to texts. When she manages to slip in by memorizing the code when another resident punches it in and makes her way up to Ben’s third floor apartment wondering how her brother could possibly afford the place. When she goes to the other resident’s apartments asking if they know where Ben is they are all unfriendly and evasive and in some cases downright hostile. Eventually, with the help of an editor Ben sometimes works for Jess slowly unravels the secrets of the building and the residents. Told in segments from the viewpoints of Jess and the others…Nick, Mimi, Sophie, Antoine, and the concierge. 


 

3 comments:

  1. Oh, I feel for you. I do the same thing at bed time, as well. Will we ever learn. We had the same sundial in our garden in Connecticut. I hope it’s still there 30 years later. I’ve never had a Frito pie but I know I would love it; I wonder how it would settle. Gorgeous flower and photo.

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  2. Dear Ellen,

    Your posts always remind me that everyday life rarely follows the plans we make for it. One moment you are hoping for a quiet day, the next you are shopping, babysitting, dealing with plant pots, repairing sundials and wondering why a perfectly good lunch suddenly decides to protest a day later!

    I smiled at your description of fighting off sleep. I think many of us know that mistake. Once sleep has been chased away, it often seems determined not to return when we finally want it.

    I was also happy to read about Paisleigh's visit. Children have a wonderful way of appearing unexpectedly and completely changing the shape of a day. Those are often the moments that remain in our memory longest.

    The story about the plant pots made me laugh. Paying almost eighty dollars to ship a twenty-dollar pot sounds like something that should belong in a comedy sketch rather than an online shop.

    Your repaired sundial and the shadow box project show something I always admire about you. Even when you feel unmotivated, you continue making, reading, fixing and creating. Not every creative attempt has to succeed immediately. Sometimes starting over is simply part of the process.

    And after weeks of hearing about rain, I had to smile at the final twist: now the ground is cracking and the sprinkler is needed again. Nature never seems entirely satisfied, does it?

    Wishing you cooler temperatures, fewer mosquitoes, better sleep and a successful second attempt with those leaves.

    Best wishes,
    Anette

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  3. I hear you, Ellen. I really do. The only outside time I've been spending is to do some picking in the garden and that is enough brutality for me. However, I've been keeping pretty busy in the house, getting ready for company. I'm about at the point however, when I just want to say, "Okay. That's good enough." I did get the guest room finished and I've done the hallway and I've cleaned a few things out of a few closets but that wasn't really important. I am just really in a get-rid-of-it-all mood. I've got more to do though, honestly.
    Sometimes you really DO need some time off and by golly you deserve it. A day may not be enough, either.

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