I haven’t felt much like writing, just trying to normalize a fucking bomb in my brain. Hyperventilating. OK, calm down, deep breaths. Don’t go to bed and cry, it won’t help. I keep reminding myself that all the medical personnel I have talked to this week assure me that if the aneurysm was dangerous at this time they would not have allowed me to leave the hospital.
It occurred to me to check my insurance Monday to see if the neurosurgeon is in my network. No, fuck no, of course not. Called United Healthcare, the advocate was very nice, tried to see if there was a workaround but no, he was sorry. So then I checked to see if the UTHealth neurology group took my insurance and the website listed my United Healthcare AARP Advantage plan as a big NO. So then I had to try and find a new neurosurgeon in my network which was basically throwing a dart at the list, picked one with excellent reviews but it was all spinal surgery, called the referral service to get a referral and was told I needed a followup after the hospital with my PC before they could send a referral. Only she couldn’t get me in anytime soon but another doctor in the group could and she could see me at 8 AM Tuesday morning. So I went to see her, and I did like her, and she suggested a neurosurgeon they refer people to in the same building but in the meantime she would send a referral to the doctor I picked, if I wanted to change my mind later, no problem. Got home, looked up the other doctor who is in the same UTHealth neurology group, called his office and talked to a very nice woman who looked at my records and she asked was my insurance AARP or Wellmed, as they have Wellmed in my file and they did accept Wellmed. I knew that Wellmed had bought United Healthcare so I called UH back, talked to a different advocate, asked him what was what and he said absolutely they would pay, I just had to tell the office to bill Wellmed instead of United Healthcare. So then I called the neurosurgeon’s office back that I had called just a few minutes before and the guy assured me everything was fine for my scheduled appointment June 17th with the doctor I had been referred to, he looked and said there were no red flags in my file about insurance and that I was on the waiting list for an earlier appointment if someone canceled. I can’t tell you what a relief that was after three days of panic and high blood pressure. I would have kissed that guy on the mouth if he had been standing in front of me. And then I relaxed and I could feel my blood pressure dropping.
Then I called the neurosurgeon’s office I’ll be seeing and explained about the afib ablation and if that would have an effect on my aneurysm and I was assured that no it wouldn’t and that it was important to get that taken care of before my appointment and yes he did review the test that showed the aneurysm. I have a date for the afib ablation…next Tuesday the 4th. I’ll be the first procedure of the day.
I’m sorry to bore you with all this insurance BS, one of the reasons I haven’t posted, but it’s my world right now. It’s amazing how fast a bubble pops. My afib and other older age related health shit aside, I felt healthy, strong and limber, in really good shape and then just by accident, a fluke really, I found out I have a fucking bomb in my brain and now have to go through all sorts of procedures just to see if it’s going to kill me or if it can be fixed. Never in my wildest imaginings did i think that would be the way I went.
On a lighter note, the orange double daylilies are gorgeous right now, blooming more profusely than I think they ever have.
And the other orange thing was found guilty on all counts! MAGAts are melting down in real time, screaming profanities and threats. TFG’s comments after the verdict were about rigged, injustice, weaponized justice, fake everything, and what a shithole nation America is now. Meanwhile everyone else is cheering. If he thinks this country is such failed nation he is welcome to leave. Millions of people will help him pack.
Not a problem with having you use your blog for airing what you are dealing with!
ReplyDeleteAn aneurysm is no small thing! I had a sweet little aunt who died from a brain aneurysm ... boom 🤯 and she was gone! You're lucky to have it discovered!
You are getting your Docs in a row ... that's a real plus!!
The daylillies are beautiful!
when they first told me in the ER, even though I knew what an aneurysm is, I was like, oh, an aneurysm. it wasn't until a few days later when I found out the neurosurgeon couldn't see me for nearly 4 weeks that I got anxious and then on top of that I have to have two procedures on my heart. it was just overwhelming.
DeleteSo glad you got positive results from all the calls about insurance. I forget to call the insurance co (United Healthcare also) and see if a doctor I've been referred to is in their system. It sometimes costs me. But Asheville (our nearest hospital and many specialists) is pretty much buttoned down by HCA (a private for profit hospital network) and thus most of my specialists are in the approved network. Test after test! Goodness. This week (tomorrow at 8:30 am) I'll have my bone density scanned! Oh and anurisms occur in other parts of the body, I found out that a friend has two that have been there for years. He said his father even had them as well. Mmm. Don't know if that's supportive or not...but meant to be.
ReplyDeletedoctors only need to be in their system if you have an HMO, which I do. PPO you can see whatever doctor you want. bone density, that's another thing I have and reuse to take the meds b/c I don't like they way they work which increases density but not strength by preventing old weak bone from breaking down and side effects if you get them are heinous. plus they don't necessarily prevent breaks. the odds are in my favor at this point and I work hard to have a strong muscular system to protect my bones.
Delete37paddington: I found this post about insurance ins and outs reassuring because you’re knocking down the pins one by one and setting yourself up for success. You’re doing g everything you need to do, asking the right questions, doing the next indicated thing. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteapparently the neurology group had already figured out to bill Wellmed and I just sent myself into a spiral for no reason except I wanted to be absolutely sure nothing interfered with my appointment.
DeleteYou're doing terrific even thinking about all this. You'll be soooo fine. Ready to help T***p pack!
ReplyDeletenow that I'm sure all the ducks are in a row I'm trying not to think about it. just show up for the procedures when scheduled.
DeleteMy gosh. Get behind in my reading and your world's gone topsy turvy. I've read through the first two medical posts, and confess I'm going to have to give them another read or two, just to wrap my mind around all the details. I can imagine what it's like for you. I only know one person who's had to deal with an aneurysm. She's fine now, and to be honest I can't remember where it was -- it's been years. So clearly they can fix the things up. Just saying 'brain' makes it sound even more scary, but once you begin to get these procedures ticked off I think things will be better. Waiting and wondering -- and dealing with insurance companies -- is horrid. I'm glad your Tuesday appointment is early. Now, I'm off to re-read your earlier posts.
ReplyDeleteright? I say the only good thing to come out of this is that I know my heart and lungs are solid but I suppose finding the aneurysm is also a good thing. hopefully it can be repaired.but then that snowball kept rolling downhill. now I have three procedures that don't necessarily fix the aneurysm.
DeleteHoly run around!!1 I hate that you have to do all of the work just to see a doctor that may save your life...that is what it has come to and it is SO wrong! I trust that you will be well, you have to be- there is no other choice!
ReplyDeleteThe thing that cracked me up the most was the crowd of folks outside the court giving trump the NYC salute as the motorcade went by! New Yorkers know him too well and have hated him and his criminal father - long time!!! Things are looking up ( sort of) so I take this as a good omen for Our Ellen who will come out of all of this a STAR!!! You do inspire! LOVE YOU
this country is so fucked up in so many ways. richest country in the world won't take care of it's citizens unless somebody makes money off it. I'll be glad to put paid to the afib but I am not looking forward to being put completely under. little bit of anxiety about that.
DeleteWell, you write: "I felt healthy, strong and limber, in really good shape" and there is no reason to feel different now. Your healthy and strong body has accommodated that aneurysm for whatever time it has been with you while at the same time not faking being healthy and strong. Remember that please in the days and weeks and procedures to come.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I read about the health insurance chaos in your part of the world and especially in relation to people I feel a connection with - like you, Ellen - I could scream and if I could, I would beam you here. Or beam our health insurance system over to you.
thanks Sabine. I keep trying to a. not think about it, b. remind myself I've probably lived with this thing unknowingly for some amount of time, and c. that they would not have released me from the hospital if they thought there was danger. but then the whole afib/blood thinner thing piled on and one procedure turned into three just to get a look at the aneurysm. I have no idea if this particular kind can be repaired. oh, and thank you for the info and link about the headstand and blood flow to the brain.
DeleteGlad you seem to have settled all of your insurance nightmares. Just adds to your stress, I'm sure. I so feel for people who aren't savvy enough to navigate all of this (the calls, tracking down of information, etc.). Our insurance is just an awful system. Just awful. Sending good thoughts your way for your upcoming procedures; your otherwise good health and stamina will help you immensely. (And Trump being convicted should give you a little bump in dopamine!)
ReplyDeletethanks Elle. I'd rather look the devil in the eye than pretend I don't see it. I was anxious enough that the neurosurgeon couldn't see me for almost four weeks when the hospital told me to get it done in the next week or two. I didn't want anything to interfere. I'm lucky that I'm old enough for medicare because when I was a working artist we lived hand to mouth, no insurance of any kind and no money for out of pocket. also lucky that the neighborhood my inner city house was in that I bought for a pittance long ago got gentrified and we were able to sell it for an outrageous amount.
DeleteI am always grateful for universal health care, but when I read accounts like this it reinforces my appreciation of it. If we get sick we get treated. Period! The system is not perfect, of course it’s not - nothing ever is, but it works very well most of the time, and it is comforting to know that ill health is not going to bankrupt us. Good luck with all that you are going through, Ellen.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shame that patients have to jump through hoops about insurance. All we want to do is get better. Hoping all goes well! ❤️
ReplyDeleteapparently the neurosurgery group never had a problem with using Wellmed but I didn't know that. also apparently my electrophysiologist has been billing Wellmed all this time instead of UH like I thought. at least now I know how to circumvent my UH HMO.
DeleteYou are dealing with all of this in the same way you deal with everything- in a straightforward, do what must be done, figure it out sort of way. I admire you tremendously and I know that you are going to be with us for many more years. Because you ARE strong and fit and limber, you have a much better chance of a very positive outcome.
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, I know you must be incredibly anxious. How could you not be?
I am thinking of you so much, Ellen.
I guess it gives me an unrealistic feeling of control. and yes, I'm a little anxious about being put completely under and being intubated for the afib ablation (the cerebral angiogram will be twilight sleep like the ablation for flutter was). when he told me that, I cried in the office. but he assured me it would be fine and I do trust him. OK, I'm in your hands I told him.
DeleteGlad you got the insurance straightened out and you are getting your dates all set up. The wait is torture but time goes by quickly. It is good that you are in such good physical shape as recovery will be easier for you.
ReplyDeleteIn a weird coincidence, my son and DIL work for UTHealth-Houston. Is that where you will be having your procedures? They are not in neurology. The hospital is huge and has a great reputation.
I am particularly anxious about the aneurysm as they told me I could be discharged from the hospital instead of spending another two days and have the angiogram done then if I followed up within the next week or two and then it turned out it would be nearly 4 weeks before I could see the neurosurgeon and no telling when he can schedule the angiogram. anyway, it will be done there at Memorial Hermann SW where UTHealth has offices and privileges.
DeleteOf course you would be anxious, that's a LOT to handle. I'm so sorry you have to wait for your appointment. That's frustrating. If you are on the waitlist, maybe you will get in sooner. Hope so!
DeleteThat's a different building from my son and DIL. Matt's does medical research and NingJIng is studying to be an oncologist/hematologist.
Ugh. Health insurance and doctor stuff is such a nightmare. I am sorry you have to deal with all that on top of the tension involved with having a potentially dangerous condition. Step by step, right? You're handling it!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful daylilies!
it just feels like everything is piling on. one procedure and perhaps repair has turned into three procedures all within a short period of time. and I'm a little anxious about being put completely under instead of twilight sleep.
DeleteWhat an ordeal to add on top of the actual health issues that you have to manage. I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of it. I hope all goes well with all of the appointments. Please take care there. (NewRobin13)
ReplyDeletethanks Robin. been missing you.
DeleteHi ellen... I've been very quiet lately. Roger was diagnosed with epilepsy in January and we've been taking this new medical journey. The medication has pretty challenging side-effects. It's a whole new world, and these aging bodies taking us on quite a journey. I so wish the very best for you in every way, ellen.
Deletesorry to hear that about Roger. the older we get the more we have to face I guess doing out best to extend our lives. all the best to you and Roger.
DeleteI've relied on you being sent home to wait until the procedure is scheduled. Doctors are good like that, they won't send you home to die if they need to save your life now. Sorry you had that health insurance snafu to sort, though. So, soon enough there will be answers. All will be well. Plenty of new experiences coming your way.
ReplyDeleteunless you're pregnant and having a miscarriage or carrying a dead fetus. but yes, I hold on to that. possibly, probably been living with it for years but scary knowing it's there nonetheless. I plan to make it into my 80 or longer like my paternal aunt who was in her 90s.
DeleteHealthcare is hard to navigate without help. When HeWho had the heart attack in St. Louis, the doctors kept me in a state of perpetual confusion. It was so stressfull. I like my healthcare providers here a lot more, they actually listen to me! Still thinking of you and hoping for a quick procedure and quick recovery! The guilty verdict restored my faith in our country! I figured most of his followers lack the necessary requirements to serve on a jury!
ReplyDeleteI'm the benefits "expert" at my job and even I hate trying to navigate stuff like that! At least I have a rep with our insurance company who can do the kind of research you did on your own. So glad the original surgeon is going to work out.
ReplyDelete