All the family has gone home with the exception of my niece, Denny, and her husband. They are staying at Pam's (the house is still hers in my mind) through Thanksgiving and leaving for Albuquerque on Friday. Saturday, my grandgirl Robin moves in to care for the house and the cats until next summer when the boys will go to Pam's grandgirl Abby in Cincinnati. And then Sunday, life will return to normal, or the new normal anyway, shy one very important person.
My sister has often been gone for two weeks at a time when she would go visit our brother or her daughter. So, two weeks, only this time she's not coming back. All her potted plants have gone to new homes, some taken by family, some taken at the memorial. I have enough of my own to care for without having to care for all hers though I am keeping a few.
There was a snafu regarding the death certificate that the funeral home was supposed to take care of. A doctor I never heard of texted me last Sunday to call him about the death certificate. He had no idea who Pam was, how, when, where, or why she died. He kept asking me questions about her health, interrupting me, not really listening to what I was saying. When I finally told him to stop interrupting me so I could tell him what happened from beginning to end (and he still tried to interrupt me twice...I'm not through, I told him), he said he was going to refuse to sign the death certificate, that the doctor at the hospital should do it. Good I said and how were you even contacted to do this. Some state agency which I forget what he said asked him to do it. Anyway, we contacted the funeral home and they took care of it. Death certificate has been signed.
Speaking of plants, my brother helped me dig up and move the plumerias and the night blooming cereus into the garage before he left. Another cold front blew in yesterday though it's just supposed to get down in the 40s. Next week I'll start moving all the small tenders into the house for the winter.
There will be eight of us for Thanksgiving and we're going to have it at my house this year instead of my daughter's. Today I made the cranberry sauce and did all the prep for the dressing...making the corn bread, chopping the veggies, cutting off the crust and cubing the bread set out yesterday to get stale; my two contributions to dinner. Tomorrow morning I'll fry the bacon, saute the vegetables, mix it all with the bread cubes and spices and chicken broth and stick it in the oven.
There is much to be thankful for and I will focus on that.
Glad you'll have the big crowd to enjoy the feasting and being thankful for so much together. Sending the pieces of a loved one's life go to different places is incredibly tedious, I think. And that''s why I keep giving things away, in hopes there won't be as much thrown away when I'm gone.
ReplyDeleteThis is a strange Thanksgiving for you, and I think you're wise to just cook, get on with the daily stuff right now.
ReplyDeleteOh, Ellen. You've been through so much. I guess that doing the things you always do for Thanksgiving is soothing in some ways. I hope it does not become overwhelming. I also hope that you can take some time to simply be. To let life go on without you for a little while so that you can grieve however you need to. Of course, that may mean that you just keep getting on with it and that is absolutely okay. We all do it differently. Just know I'm thinking about you, sending love.
ReplyDeleteCooking and eating together is comfort. I hope and wish that you all experience that. And that doctor was out of line, way out of line.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a big adjustment for you, Ellen, but just take it one week at a time and treasure your happy memories of your dear sister. Have a nice Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteI hope having your family in your home brings you comfort. I'm still so sorry this has happened. Seems not fair in the slightest.
ReplyDeleteGlean what peace and comfort you can from this day! Life will go on ... ❤️
ReplyDeleteThat rude doctor! But you handled him beautifully. Best wishes for a Thanksgiving that nourishes your soul.
ReplyDeleteThis first Thanksgiving without your much-loved sister will bring much sadness and also heartfelt and loving remembrances. That doctor was outrageous and stupid. What a jerk. (NewRobin13)
ReplyDeleteThe doctor who called you out of the blue was a complete and total ass hat. You would think he could be a little less pompous at such a time. I'm glad you have people for Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteSharing a meal with family is a good thing at this time. PS: That doctor was a complete jackass.
ReplyDeleteI remember my brother saying, how after our dad died, he was struck how we had such beautiful summer weather and he saw everyone having fun without a care in the world. He was angry that his world was broken, devasted, and everything else kept right on going. I know you've suffered grief before you know how to handle it. It's never the same way twice through is it?
ReplyDeleteThank goodness life goes on. The animals still expect meals, if nothing else. The birds tap on the windows for feeders to be filled. And we all come together as a family because it's what we do for Thanksgiving every year and were planning to do this year. And it will be Pam's house forever and ever. Have a good day. And I join everyone in a resounding put down of the phone-a-doc.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're having a good Thanksgiving, Ellen, or at least as good as it could be under the circumstances. Do those plants have any light in your garage, or do they just go dormant in the cold weather?
ReplyDeleteI'm perplexed by that doctor, but at least the issue was taken care of. I still laugh when I remember getting a call from my own mother's insurance company in October of 2011, when I was in Illinois after taking her ashes to Iowa for burial. They were calling to tell me that the procedure she'd just undergone wasn't going to be covered by her policy. I told them not to worry about it, since she'd died three months earlier!
ReplyDeleteWith the ritual moving of the plumeria and such done, at least you won't have to struggle with that. Although it's quite cool today, the sun has come out. I may (or may not) go for a walk.
It's just Peggy, the cats, and me for Thanksgiving anymore, but I like it that way, and although Peggy misses her family, she has come to adjust to it over the 37 years since we left the South.
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