Friday, December 26, 2014

a day of rest and the last selfie

I trust everyone who celebrates Christmas had a wonderful day.

I never did feel like I really woke up yesterday. That's usually what happens when my body is telling me to knock it off. Plus I had a pain in my back. So while my brain had a work day scheduled yesterday to fill the 2nd bowl mold, I could never find the energy or motivation to get up off the couch. Oh, what the hell, I figured, most people in this country and other predominately christian countries are taking a day off so even though this is not a day I celebrate, I did too. Take the day off. Wouldn't have mattered what day it was though, when my body says rest, I rest. So I lounged around all day and finished my book. The only time I got up was to go take care of the cats.


So, the selfies...

My face retained a relatively youthful appearance right up until I turned 60 and then it was like some sort of switch was flipped and the skin got crepey and deep wrinkles appeared. And spots. Either that or the clear mirror and bright florescent lights in the bathroom of the country house illuminated what the small silver stained antique mirror and the dim light in the bathroom of the old city house had disguised.

I was shocked, I tell you, shocked. Dismayed by the image looking back at me. Disturbed that it did not reflect how I feel. Unsettled that I could see the beauty in the aged faces of others but not in my own.

And so the Selfie Project was born. I figured that if I took enough pictures of myself and posted them for all to see I would, if not see the beauty in my own aged face, at least get used to it, accept it.

Well the year is done and the selfies are complete and the only thing I achieved is to realize that I do, indeed, look like the old woman I apparently am.

Sobeit. Not that I mind being 64 years old. I find it kind of amazing actually... to have survived and still have my health intact (so far anyway), to still have the drive, energy, and desire to work...and consider myself lucky.

The smiling selfie as requested, also the best one I could come up with that didn't look like a grimace.


  1. I have loved your selfies! Thank you for
    And hell yes, So. Be. It.
    We are what we are and our lives show very plainly on our faces. Some of us have lived more fully than others and that is absolutely fine.
    (Or that's what I tell myself, anyway.)

  2. i think you're beautiful. and i'm glad you gave yourself a day off. :)

  3. In just one or two years my skin has changed dramatically. It has become thin and is like crepe--Spotty and spottier patches incresape at an alarming pace. I am fine with my hair going white...not so fine with how thin it has become. I stamp my feet and shake my fists, but my collsgen depletion matches my waning estrogen.0' and hating it doesnt seem to stop the process. i want very much to embrace it as if it were an honored marker of the status of age, but this is a youth worshiping culture...and I simply feel marginalized. Poop!

  4. I still hear a young man when I talk, but am shocked when looking in the mirror somedays. I am 2 years younger.

  5. I have loved your selfie project. I was very much inspired by the way you did not shrink from the camera but faced it honestly and squarely and also lovingly. Your face is beautiful art.

  6. That was a perfect Madonna smile. You do look better with a smile.

  7. Here's what I decided about my old face--I don't have to look at it. I just enjoy other people looking at it.

  8. I hope your selfies are not totally a thing of the past! I have enjoyed seeing you! along with the amazing art you produce. Thank you.

  9. I love your selfie! I turned 67 this year and am amazed at how my looks have changed in the last couple of years. I've also noticed that my balance is off. That bothers me the most. Oooh gawd...not old lady shoes too!!! hahaha

  10. I think you look precious. I love the smiling selfie (the serious one, too) and I'm still in awe of your picture in the hat.

  11. I've always been a poor judge of age and weight. Don't know why. I simply don't notice these things unless there's been a terribly dramatic change. So for what it's worth, what I behold is charm, honestly, kindness, a twinkle of irascibility, and love -- not sure what can be more beautiful than that?

  12. Age and size always shocks me when I see myself in photos. We're great foolers of self. As for you, I think you're lovely. We should all be as lucky to have that face staring back at us in the mirror.. or from a selfie.

  13. I think you look great, and the selfie project has been really fun! I like the second one here. I've never been too hung up about looking older (so far), but rightly or wrongly, I know it's different for men.

  14. Hey Ellen, I haven't visited you in WAY too long. How have you been?

    I'll be 64 my birthday and I've changed as well. My knees are what's wearing me out these days, but hey, I'm glad I'm still kickin' :)

    Looks like you are staying busy.

    Take care and Happy New Year.

  15. Ooh love the smile! I've been unhappy with my face this past year - apparently I made it to 50 feeling ok with my face, but not so much these days (thus all the pics of me with hair in my face - ha!).


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