Wednesday, June 3, 2009

an exercise in irony


When I was a little girl, I used to bite my fingernails.  It was no big deal then because I was always in the woods anyway.  But then I became a teenager, with all the attendant neuroses.  I wanted nothing more than to be beautiful, popular, talented.  You know, all those things I wasn’t.  Junior High just about killed me so all through high school I tried to just keep a low profile.  But I still had my secret desires...beauty, popularity, talent.  And nails.  I wanted really long beautiful finger nails.  But try as I might, being the shy, tongue-tied, anti-social being that I was, I could not stop biting my nails.  One little tear, rough spot or abrasion and that baby was gone.  I did eventually manage to break myself of the habit in my early 20s.  I did it by carrying a nail file around with me at all times.  Anytime I would get the urge to bite, I whipped that sucker out and filed away.  


So now, here I am, filing away trying to get those pesky nails down to about 1/16th of an inch.  I hate long nails and they just keep growing!  They require way too much maintenance and they get in my way when I am working.  Especially if I am doing model making.  I keep putting little crescent marks in my wax or clay.  All that effort to quit biting my nails just morphed into more work.  That’s not exactly what I envisioned when I wanted desperately to quit biting my nails in my effort to become beautiful, popular and talented.  The beauty and popularity I never quite managed to achieve.  I did however manage to acquire a certain level of talent.  Probably why I hate long nails now.

10 comments:

  1. As a child, I thought my Mom's nails were so pretty. I tried as a teenager. Nail Polish and all. Now, I'm way too busy to wear it.

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  2. I have this sweet spot of nail legnth that I like...when the nail is just flush with the top of my finger. Too short, it feels odd. Too long and they get in the way and get dirty easily.

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  4. I'm pretty much the same, Anna. Besides, I don't carry a file with me, but rather a nail clipper. It's always in my handbag, schoolbag or even in one of my pockets. It's because my nails kind of tear so easily. That is also the reason for the nail polish - colourless, though. And even the nail biting was a sort of cutting them, in a way, rather than a sign of being nervous. With the nail clipper (so not feminine, right?) I stopped that, too. And the right length, as Ann has pointed out, keeps them just neat.

    About the irony - I see exactly what you mean. Things often turn out that way.

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  5. I gave up playing the violin because I wanted long nails. But then when I became a bodyworker, I had to trim them down as short as they could be. So I could have continued playing the violin if I hadn't been so vain. Sheesh.

    Nail biters often have to have appendectomies - the little nail shards get stuck in the appendix. So it was well worth breaking the habit!

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  6. Isn't it funny how when we're school age, the different things we think will bring on popularity. Aren't you glad those days are done! I've always thought maintaining long, polished nails was more work than it was worth, so I favor the short. And kudos to you for acquiring talent, which always reflects dedication and perseverance! A better alternative to popularity, I think.

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  7. Well, I see I am in good company. Short nails rule!

    Reya...appendectomies from nail biting? Yikes! Really glad I quit that.

    And Joanne, yes of the three, I'm happy with talent. And man am I glad those days are done.

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  8. my eldest son at 21 still biting his nails,especially when he is into deep thingking, ialways scolded him on that.i dont know when he can get over it,wish there is still hope for this.

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  9. It's as if you are talking about me Ellen. I bit my nails into painful bloody oblivion practically from birth until I was in my mid twenties. I just couldn't stop. I didn't even know I was doing it, other than a little ragged nail bit had to be removed. I recently thought it might be a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that somehow spontaneously resolved. Every now and then, when I break a nail, I catch myself worrying away at it with my teeth, nibbling at it to remove the tiny ragged bits...and it's as if I'm that kid again who can't seem to stop the compulsion to chew.

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  10. Glad we could help.

    I go in spells. Let them grow and I find I am spending all kinds of time, just shaping, painting, cleaning.

    I love it best when they are so short nothing can get under them!

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I opened my big mouth, now it's your turn.