the curse

So it seemed my tile problems were solved didn't it? Went back to Home Depot and bought the tiles I need for the shower and drove to Bay City today to order the rest from the very nice lady and oh gee, the large mottled tile is no longer on the manufacturer's website though it is still listed on the most recent product list they have which is only a few months old.

Of course. Of course!!!

She called the company who has a bad habit of not answering their phone, she says, apparently in an attempt to get people to do their business on-line, to check for product availability and of course they wouldn't answer their phone while I was sitting there. I'll keep trying she says and call you later this afternoon with good news. It's 6:30 PM and I still haven't heard back.

There is some good news though as I had previously done an internet search for this tile so I was pretty sure it was still available at some of the bigger national tile and flooring places and I only need 3 boxes so when I got home I looked it up again and found a place in Florida that has it. So I have a back-up if she doesn't come through.

Rocky and Bill the plumber were supposed to show up last Thursday after Bill's helper crapped out on him and he prevailed upon Rocky to come help him on Wednesday in exchange for inserting me immediately after but Bill fell Wednesday and banged up his knee and had to go to the ER so his job needed another day on Thursday but we'll be here Friday Rocky tells me. Friday morning Rocky comes by to ask on Bill's behalf if I'd be OK with putting it off til Monday so Bill could go back to the ER and get his knee X-rayed to make sure it wasn't broken now that the swelling was going down. What was I supposed to say, that I would rather Bill and his banged up knee come and finish the work? Rocky was all apologetic. I figured what's a few more days. Even if they had showed up Friday, it's already too late to get the bathroom finished before I leave.

This is why I try not to have expectations. Life is just putting out one fire after another.

The flooring is in in the back bedroom though. Now just need the quarter round and it's done.

tile hell

The rain stopped and it warmed up and I shook off my malaise and drove to Bay City on Tuesday to order tile. And fell into tile hell. The woman that helped me after Julie brushed me off (I guess she was tired of my indecision) agreed that the tile for the floor was going to make the shower too dark if I used it there and I couldn't find anything lighter besides subway tile which I didn't really want and turns out no one makes linear tile 3/4” - 1” wide and about 6” - 8” long that I wanted for a border around the hex tiles. So, deflated and defeated I told her I would go ahead and order the tile for the floor and she wouldn't let me!

I don't like to turn away business, she says, but I want you to be happy with your choices. You're going to Home Depot tomorrow to get your sink (I was) so look and see what they have. They buy in larger quantities than I can and have better prices.

So she sent me away with the samples I have been holding on to plus two more. I returned home sullen and discouraged and stomped around the rest of the day and night...I can't do this!!!

Wednesday morning I had worked my way to a grudging acceptance of subway tile for the shower and took off for Rosenberg and Home Depot where I found 12” x 12” matte white tiles with a hint of gray (it's a touch whiter than it looks in the picture) by the same company that makes the tile I want to use for the floor and half the price. Score! I didn't buy it because I didn't have my figures with me but I'm getting that for the shower and will get the other tile I have chosen for the floors (bathroom, small hall, and closet across from the bathroom) from the tile place. 

So one more major decision made. Now all that's left is deciding on a mirror/medicine cabinet combo, light fixture, and faucet and I think all the decisions and purchases will be made, not just for the bathroom but all the rooms that flooded. Well, except for talking my glass artist friend into making the linear tiles out of fused glass for me that I need. So now I'm once again headed to Rosenberg and Home Depot.

four days

Four days. That's how long I've been a useless slug. Monday was cold and drizzly. All fucking day. Not cold cold but in the 50s and 60s and 100% humidity what with water coalescing out of the air and such. Not cold enough to justify turning on the heater but borderline. An hour before I was due to pick up my sister for yoga, I called.

“How invested are you in going to yoga tonight?” I'm the driver since her house is on the way.

“I could not go” she replied, “or I could go.”

We chatted for a while longer about how miserable the weather is, the main deterrent to going. About how inactive we've I've been these past four days. But truth to tell, I have four parameters that affect my willingness to drive to the next town over for yoga...cold, rain, wind, and dark. There has to be three out of the four for me to not feel guilty about not going to yoga and today there were only two...cold and rain however slight the rain was.

“OK,” I sighed, “I'll pick you up at the regular time.” Even though I could just as easily have taken a nap. Actually, I'm glad I went. Monday is usually a small class and we kept it low key which sometimes is exactly what is needed.

Also Monday Rocky and Gunner installed the flooring and baseboards in the back bedroom. Still needs the shoe mold which will go in today and then I think Rocky is going to close up the temporary opening to the garage from the closet, finally making the house closed off from the outside but of course that means they will now have to go through my studio room to work on the bathroom and finish out the little hall and closet.

Since I did not drive to Bay City to deal with the tile yesterday, that is my goal for today which has dawned with an almost clear sky and a promise of warming up even though I don't expect Bill the plumber to show til next week. Still, best to have everything on hand and towards that I was notified that my pedestal sink is ready for pick-up. Wednesday's chore.

you want me to what?

The cat woke me up out of a deep sleep early Friday morning, amid more involved dreaming that I don't remember, to go outside. She was very insistent. I fell back in bed and back to sleep for another hour or so before I got up. Hours later I still didn't feel completely awake. We finally got the rain Thursday early evening that had been predicted all week and Friday it was still overcast and humid lending itself to my lethargy. I intended to drive to Bay City and order the tile for the bathroom but around 3 PM I admitted I wasn't going that day.

Saturday morning, winter, ever the bad sport, slipped an icy finger down here with high winds plunging the temperature about 40˚ as a sort of 'fuck you' to spring and the dog and I occupied the couch all day reading and dozing. Well, I read, she dozed. OK, I dozed some too. This morning it was so cold in the house I had to turn the heater on while the temperature registered 42˚ outside. In April.

Looks like a third day of zero motivation.

dirty dishes and hawks and roses and plumbing woes and a new birdbath

I spent last weekend working out in the yard tending to numerous things and enjoying the excellent weather while I ignored this...

Instead I watched the red shouldered hawks out keeing for mates flying back and forth between the Wild Space and the trees in my absent neighbor's backyard. I looked up one time to see one of the hawks flying around, back and forth, clutching what looked like a small snake in its talons which I thought rather odd. After a bit, a hawk settled on a branch of a tree in my neighbor's yard next to another hawk and I watched as he mounted her and then settled on the branch next to her for a moment before flying off. I wonder if he brought her some food as part of their courting. I know male cardinals will feed their mates during spring courtship because I have seen this behavior often thanks to the tea cup bird feeder. A short time later I saw her fly down to the open yard and pick up some nesting material and fly back to the trees and watched as she moved from branch to branch before she settled into the crook of the pine tree and added to the nest she's building. I have an unobstructed view even though it's high up.

The weather wizards have been predicting rain all week which hasn't materialized so far but at least today it has clouded over and darkened. The yard is still glorious and the dandelions are so numerous and full of bees that Marc is loathe to mow even though the hay grass is going to seed. I've given up trying to pull it all up, an exercise in futility. And my Cinco de Mayo rose is just outdoing itself this spring and so fragrant. It will bloom all summer but this first flush is gorgeous.

Monday Rocky starts putting down the flooring in the back bedroom and then the baseboards and that room will be done except for a minor punch list. I ordered the pedestal sink I settled on for the little bathroom and it should be here next week

and tomorrow I'm going to order the tile I need. There will be plenty of time for it to come in as now it looks like the concrete floor in the shower will have to be broken up and a new drain gizmo put in because the screws were so rusty they broke off when Rocky took off the part that has to be off before the shower liner can be put in which looks like it has already had to be done once before 

plus when Bill the plumber was here the drain for the sink wasn't dealt with like it was supposed to be, it being all corroded and broken (what the hell did he think?). 

I wasn't here when Marc settled up with him or I would have pointed it out. So doubtful the bathroom will get finished before I leave for Portugal next month.

On the upside, I bought a new birdbath this week. One spring years ago, the HEB grocery store had Talavera ceramic birdbaths and I didn't buy one. Next year, I told myself, I'll get one next year. Well, the next year they didn't have them or the year after that or the year after that and maybe not even the year after that. But last Monday, there they were sitting out front. And now one is sitting on my tiny patio in the Little Backyard while I decide where to put it.

progress and growth

Progress is being made! The chair rail and crown moulding is all up and the windows are in. 

Still needs to have some of the paint touched up and the flooring and baseboards but that won't happen til the bathroom is done so next is to close off the back room with plastic to keep the dust out while they work on the little bathroom.

And the garden is growing. The corn is up and the beans are up 

and the tomatoes are blooming and I even have a few little ones forming and so put the cages around them and the blueberries are covered in swelling berries and the peach tree actually came out and is growing this spring instead of waiting til the fall like it did the last two years even though it didn't bloom and the squash and onions are growing and the peppers of various kinds are putting on buds.

Spring is still springing and while the bluebonnets are going by and the mock dogwood is dropping petals like snow, the maroon japanese iris are blooming

and the roses are robust 

and the evening primrose are in full bloom and the clasping leaved coneflowers are coming on 

and the poppies are vibrant 

and the rocket larkspur are starting up 

and the yard is full of dandelions and the amaryllis are blooming, the red and white ones and the pink and white ones and my beautiful all red one is blooming for the first time since I dug up the bulbs when we sold the city house 4 years ago this summer (has it really been that long already?) 

and our nice dry days have given way to killer humidity in anticipation of the rain forecast for tonight.

dreamscapes

image via https://ymafreedompost.org/5309/soapbox/why-do-humans-have-dreams/

The pain in my hip finally dragged me out of a deep deep dream sleep yesterday morning. It had even made its way into my dream which was full of rejection and unpreparedness and futility trying to join two hoses together by tying them or wrapping them with duct tape which I could not find but I did find the cellophane tape so I could water the stuff I had spread fertilizer on but I ran out of time as the van was leaving for an outing with the group of people at the retreat (?) I was at and when we got to our destination I realized I was wearing the same clothes from the day before and I hadn't even put shoes on though I did have on socks and we went to a sort of downtown area with a craft gallery that a portion of the sales went to support the organization that had arranged the outing though I didn't buy anything because I had failed to change over my money to the right currency and no one was being friendly to me and then everyone was milling around and there was music and I started dancing with abandon and then the music stopped and when it started again a guy asked me to partner dance and we were the only ones and sort of making it up as we went along and then it was time for us to eat the lunches we had brought only I hadn't known we were supposed to bring our lunch and I wandered around by myself and I saw a bar or restaurant with a line to get in and I figured they wouldn't let me in even if I had the right money because I was flat chested and so I walked over to watch the people in the water in their play boats and wished I was out there with them and when I started back I was wading in the water and it was getting deeper and deeper and I didn't really want to get my clothes wet and I was back on the pavement and some of the group needed help moving a piece of furniture that one of the other women had bought at the shop so I helped carry that and we got in a different van to take it to her house but there wasn't a seat for me so I had to lay on the floor and when we got to her house there was food but we didn't have time to eat as we had to get back but I had to use the bathroom which turned out to be a public restroom and when I came out I overheard them talking about how they had paid the guy to dance with me so they could make fun of me and my limp (this is where the pain in my hip came in) and they got in the van laughing and left and I looked around for the other van to return to the retreat because I had no idea where I was and no money but it had left also and I realized that they all went off and left me behind so I just started yelling 'help help' and some police heard me one said to the other you want to take this one and he came over and that's when I woke up.

What the hell was that all about?

I don't usually remember much about my dreams but this one was a doozy and it took about an hour for me to finally feel awake. Don't know why the hip I was laying on was hurting so much unless it was from the several folds in the sheet and mattress cover I was laying on as I had three deep creases in the skin over my hip when I woke up. You wouldn't think that would cause pain but I'm like the princess and the pea. Even the tiniest speck of dirt or sand feels like a freaking boulder when I'm trying to sleep.

This morning I woke more gradually from an equally bizarre dream but its continuity has slipped away and I'm only left with flashes of bits like going to yoga class and she told us we were going to start by jumping for joy and as I jumped my mat became a mattress and I was jumping on the bed flinging my arms up thinking I hadn't done this since I was a kid while those who were still sitting on their mats looked at us jumping like we had lost our minds. And two of us going after someone who had gone in the queen's (?) witch's (?) house (dangerous place) and upon entering seeing the dress (?) quilt (?) brought as a gift sitting on the counter but no one in sight and when we went through one door it would close and we would have to pick another door to go through etc so it was like a maze but no going back until one door opened to stairs going down which didn't seem like a good idea and another led outside so we left. And several of us being chased (I think we were trying to protect someone, the leader (?)) and we went into a room where there was a big table buffet and we picked up big round platters of food and went into another room but had to run away as a very tall man was coming after us. And trying to keep a bottle of something from them but they got it and poured it into a cup of another liquid and I grabbed it and took a sip (I think it was me). And jumping in the car but had the truck key but it worked anyway and screeched away and had a harrowing very fast drive down a narrow road. And finally they caught the person we were protecting and the tall man sprayed something in his mouth which was supposed to be enough LSD to incapacitate him but it didn't work because he had taken an antacid (I kid you not). And then as I was waking this other thing we had been protecting was put on a pedestal and the leader person raised an invisible wall around it to keep it safe.

I mean, really, what the fuck is going on in my psyche?