Friday, June 27, 2014

a small vanity and yes, a selfie

I've never been concerned overmuch with vanity during my life. Too much of a tomboy when young and too much of a rebel later on. I wasn't a great beauty and had a rather disappointing figure. I mean, I was nice enough looking but I kept waiting for my boobs to come in as I had finally started my period way after everyone else, and one day I asked my mom, who was, as they liked to say back then, flat as a pancake, when my boobs were going to get big and she told me that they were already as big as they would get.

I looked down with nary an obstruction in my line of sight to my feet. It was one of my more disappointing crushing moments.

I didn't even fill a cup size A bra and back then, cup size A was barely a step above a 'training' bra, which was really just a piece of stretchy fabric where the cups would be on a real bra. and what the hell were we training them to do?

I know the popular thing now is to go get them pumped up but back then the only option was to accept it or stuff socks in your bra. I decided early on to accept it once I had emerged from the gauntlet known as high school though my mother went out and got huge ones the very minute she could (this was back in 1965 so it was only the strippers and my mom getting boob jobs). I also gave up make-up, messing with my hair, and shaving and, being a self employed artist, I could get away with it. I discovered early in my first year of college that you could get away with a lot of shit if people thought you were an art major.

Anyway, this isn't really about my boobs or lack thereof, though they did get nicely big and functional when I was pregnant and nursing so I guess they did their job just fine.

No, this is about my hair.

This is my little vanity.

I'm 64 and I still don't mess with my hair. That color in my selfies? That's the natural color of my hair though I do have some gray interspersed in there.

The only thing I can figure is that while all the other girls were standing in the boob line when the Fates were handing out attributes before incarnation, I must have been standing in the 'no gray hair' line and by the time I got to the boob line, they were all out. 

But you know, it's been great not having to wear a bra my whole life and I didn't really lack for boyfriends and they worked well when needed so I guess I knew what I was doing when I got in line.


  1. well, as one of only 2 girls that had to begin wearing a training bra under our catholic school uniforms in 5th grade (yup, plaid jumper with white shirt which showed off the blue or yellow training bra quite embarrassingly well), i can tell you, having bigger boobs can be trouble at times. :) never built for speed, for sure. now, gray hair? i've got a few - and more coming daily - and i LOVE 'em! :)

  2. I used to wear an A back in the day & I loved it! I'd go without entirely if I had enough layers on. But then I gained a bunch of weight & that cup size increased a LOT. I don't recommend that method though...

    I keep planning to quit coloring my hair to see how much gray there is (more than you have, I'm sure), but I hate the half & half look. One of these days I'll chop it all off & then go color free & see :)

  3. I love your selfie series. Wonderful post.

  4. You were definitely in the "good hair" line. Not only is it the color of a forty-year old's, it's also thick.
    I doubt if you'll ever be one of those women needing to resort to hat in future years.

  5. I was an A in 65...hahaha!!! You, for sure, got great hair and a wonderful sense of humor. I was always that person described as "she has a great personality." hahaha!!!

  6. My daughter had grey hair at 16. It's a beautiful steel grey, but the world has not seen it since her second daughter was born, ten years ago. She couldn't stand being assumed to be her children's grandmother.
    Anyway, my sister had white hair by fifty. My remained stubbornly brown until about sixty eight or nine--a couple of years ago. I finally have hair to match my age.

  7. I think you have a athletic figure. I prefer that to big boobs.

  8. It's a good thing to be satisfied with what nature has dealt you. I feel much the same way -- I may be bald but, my god, it is so much easier than having hair! I'll opt for my body any day.

  9. You did get in the right line - we small-chested girls had lots of advantages, and like yours mine worked just fine to feed three babies. However, some of us got the gray hair too! Your hair is also wavy and soft, while gray has a mind of its own. I started graying early so have had time to get used to it, and I kinda like it now.

  10. Oh yes, this spoke to me, a size A- too. Funny how things that were important once, disappear from the map completely.

  11. I forgot about "training" bras. Ha!! Yeah what WERE we training them to do.

    Big boobs are no blessing, believe me. They're so important to our species - of course - since in the midbrain we know they symbolize sustenance. Too big, too little ...

    Love your summer haircut. Looks great.

  12. I remember you. I was in that same line.. boob-wise and hair-wise. I can't say I hate either aspect.

  13. Once I was in a titty bar in Key West. Yes, that's a story right there. Anyway, the dancers had the smallest breasts. Two guys came in and sat down next to us and studied the situation. One said, "My mama's got bigger titties than these gals."
    The other one said, "When God said 'tits' they thought he said 'grits' and said, 'no thanks!''
    I'll never forget that. It still makes me smile.
    The ladies were lovely, nonetheless.

  14. Peggy has larger than average breasts, and she hates them because she's athletic, and they just get in her way and add unwelcome weight.

    As for getting pumped-up, if I were looking for a wife, and I dated a woman who had either a tattoo or artificial boobs, it would give me serious pause. In fact, a large tattoo would be deal-killer.

    When Peggy worked ICU, one of her patients was a woman who had recently retired and came in to have breast-reduction surgery due to the backaches that she had endured for years. She threw a clot during surgery and eventually died, and I always thought that was just heartbreaking. Here she and her husband were looking forward to traveling, and she up and dies right at the threshold of her new life in retirement.

    I don't think it fair to assume that men necessarily prefer large breasts. I, for one, do not. Breast size is irrelevant to me except in the case of really big breasts, which I would consider a turn-off.


I opened my big mouth, now it's your turn.