the end

I was standing at the sink running hot water into the side with the dirty dishes trying once again to get the kitchen cleaned up thinking I would be glad when all this was over, sad but glad. No sooner had that thought passed through my head when the phone rang.

“He's...come now. Come now.”

I had been at my sister's most the day while their close friends came and went and had just returned an hour or so earlier. The pump on their well had stopped working and they had no water in the house. My niece's boyfriend was rummaging around in the barn looking for a volt meter to see if the pump was getting power. I dashed home to get ours when my sister called to say that Pete had found the problem, it was a loose wire. Earlier I had been indecisive about whether to stay or go, Mike's breathing had been very labored and shallow all day, but now that I was home, I decided to stay.

It only took five minutes to get there but he was already gone. He had skipped a breath, panted a few times, paused, panted a few more times and then nothing. He died with his wife and the two daughters he had raised as his own by his side.

It was two weeks. Two weeks from diagnosis to death.

I stayed with my sister and nieces. The hospice nurses came and called his death and called the funeral home but it would be two hours before they could come. My sister's friend Donna returned and stayed for a while but by the time they came for the body it was just the four of us. My sister couldn't watch them wrap and remove the body so I did it for her, finally standing on the edge of the drive watching until the hearse disappeared into the night.

Once home again, I couldn't sleep and slept poorly when I did finally close my eyes. Yesterday I was just so tired I did nothing but sit and read and nap. Our brother arrived yesterday evening as did Mike's son and I had meant to go over and greet them but in the end, did not. Plenty of time today for that. The memorial service, the celebration of his life, is tomorrow evening and then on Thursday everyone leaves for their respective homes leaving my sister alone in her house for the first time. I may spend the night with her. We'll see. Depends on what she wants.

So, I'm glad. Sad but relieved. The world does not stop, life does not stop. Things and people I have ignored for the last two weeks are clamoring for my attention but they can wait a few more days.