labyrinth

Our habit has been to come home on Thursday late afternoons and stay til Monday about noon when we head back to the city.  Last week, when we arrived at the city house, looking around it dawned on me that we had moved all but a few minor pieces of furniture.  Well, I wouldn’t call my grandmother’s tea cart minor, but it’s not a big piece.  Really, the only major piece of furniture left to move is my drawing table, something that I need both places.

It was really kind of strange, to walk into the house I have lived in for 34 years and realize I had, essentially, moved out.  There is still a lot of our art collection there.  I haven’t packed those things yet because we still spend a lot of time in the city.  None of the things thus far packed have been unpacked.  I’m hesitant to put things out, hang paintings until we have the furniture arranged so at least we are enjoying some of our things.

We didn’t leave the city last week until Saturday.  We decided to spend the week days in the country this week for a variety of reasons so we spent the whole of last week in the city tending to business.    We finally got the deposit on the third of the three proposals I was expecting to arrive by mid August so I am really busy getting the full size art work prepared for three jobs.  I am fortunate that the design work on all three jobs is fairly simple, a blessing after doing the entry to John Wesley.

Now that it is fall, the pecans are matured and have started to fall ripe.  Since I have been picking them up as the trees started to shed in late summer due to the drought, pecan collecting is more productive.  I walked the yard last weekend and Saturday, when I arrived, I collected about two gallons.  I have been walking the yard every morning after my coffee and before starting on whatever goal I have for the day.

Picking up the pecans has become a sort of meditation, like walking the labryrinth.  In a loose pattern, I pace the yard barefoot (because I often see them with my feet), sometimes in one direction sometimes in another.  We have three mature pecan trees spaced basically like a triangle.  I walk slowly back and forth, eyes on the ground, bending over to retrieve and moving on.  I think about how bountiful nature is.  Here, falling on the ground, is food.

I think about other things too.  Today, I was thinking about friendship.  I have decided to no longer pursue the friendship of someone who I had called my friend.  I admit that I can be hard to take.  And I have always had a hard time of it, having friends.  I tend to act in unexpected ways and say things people don’t want to hear and although I have tried to cultivate tact, caught unawares, I will blurt.  

This particular person, I feel like in the last two years, I have spent more time apologising or feeling ignored than I have being friendly.  So enough.  I will no longer reach out and I don’t expect to hear from this person again.  I’m OK with that.  I would rather spend that energy on the people who have stayed with me over the years.