a new year

the last day of 2018 looking east across the fallow cotton field

I usually look back over the previous year but it was enough to live through last year without going over all the ways Trump and his administration has diminished this country, the damage done to businesses and workers and farmers, to our standing with our allies, to our free press, to any moral imperative we ever had, plunging the government deficit into the trillions with his insane tax cut to the wealthy and corporations. He governs by tweet and whim, spouting total nonsense, attacking and sacking everyone who doesn't praise him, obsessed with the idea of a wall along our southern border. The only people he can keep in his administration are as morally bankrupt as he is with a Congress that did nothing to try and mitigate his madness.

So, Ellen, tell us how you really feel.

It wasn't all bad of course. The house got finished after the flood of 2017 and it's really pretty. I finally got back to work drawing and making art, learned a new technique. I spent 3 weeks in beautiful Portugal. And just the day to day loveliness of life...birds and beasts and flowers and trees and family and friends.

The last day of 2018 (and the first day of 2019) the Twilight Zone marathon was on all day, we listened to the less than exuberant fireworks while the dog trembled, and the gunfire which sounded very close jackass doesn't seem to care that those bullets don't evaporate once they leave his gun but go somewhere. We went to bed at 10, probably the first time in my life since I was grown that I didn't stay up til midnight.

Yesterday was done in the usual way...mimosas 

and brunch of bacon and eggs and sweet rolls, more Twilight Zone, took an early nap, lazed on the couch reading, and then in the evening watched two more episodes of Firefly (we have the boxed set that includes the episodes that were never aired).

While being lazy all day is part of the tradition, watching Firefly isn't. In fact we haven't watched it for years but the other night there was nothing on TV so we slipped in the first disc. I only mention Firefly because the next day and for several days after, both Marc and I had an ad pop up on our FB feeds for Firefly. We don't have a 'smart' TV, we did not post anywhere that we had watched it. We do have a fairly new DVD/Blu-Ray player. How the fuck does that happen?

Today is cold and rainy, Marc is off the the grocery store and I have a stack of dishes to wash. Last night we noticed a big puddle on the kitchen floor and under the sink was wet but couldn't locate a leak. This morning when I started the dishwasher I put a big bucket under as much of the plumbing as I could, checked on it later to find water on the kitchen floor and under the sink wet but nothing in the bucket. Just then Rocky showed up (Gunnar had put gutter screens up for us this morning).

Rocky! You're just in time. He located the problem and got us fixed up. Would that any problems encountered in this new year are so easily taken care of.

the last sunset of 2018

and then it turned into this

snatched from the jaws of defeat!

Because yesterday's failure wasn't bad enough, I decided to double the recipe this time. It was a near failure. I melted the chocolate, added the boiling water, 

'cooked' it down to a 'paste' which I still had no idea what the consistency was I was looking for having never watched my mother make this and as I was stirring it I thought that perhaps the consistency of the melted chocolate might be what they were thinking to which I thought, so why add the water just to cook it down. As it was I went on to the next step before it got that thick, more like soft peaks that held their shape, adding the sugar and the evaporated milk at which point I was supposed to continue to cook it for 2 – 3 minutes, except that adding the not hot evaporated milk pretty much put an end to any cooking so I turned up the heat til it got warm again and then cooked it for a few more minutes. Added the soaked gelatin which was now a solid gooey mass, stirred until it had all dissolved (as far as I could tell). OK, so far so good. I set it aside to cool and start to thicken as instructed before folding in the remaining whipped evaporated milk and some time later it is still faintly warm and still runny.

I'm on the phone to my sister, by cool do they mean set it out on the counter til whenever or put it in the fridge?

Set it on the counter, she says.

Impatient me says, but it's still runny.

Well, stick it in the refrigerator, she says.

I already had. However many minutes later when I looked at it I'm on the phone again. OK, it's thickening around the edges but still runny.

Getting there but not ready yet, she says.

Do you think I have 20 minutes to walk the dog.

Yes, she says, probably.

I got back and sat around for a few more minutes (it was a short walk, cold and damp and we weren't gone long) and then went to check on it and oh shit! it was completely thickened. I could have stuck a spoon in it and the spoon would have stood up. Great. No folding whipped anything into that so I stabbed at it with the spoon, mashed it up, stirred it around into gooey lumps and added about 2/3 of the whipped evo-milk, stirring and folding and stirring and folding and stirring and mashing and nothing was getting blended. Well, fuck. All that time wasted. I wonder if the mixer would help. I figured it was already ruined so it couldn't get worse, grabbed up the mixer and blended the shit out of that stuff, folded in the last third of the whipped evo-milk and spooned the gloppy mess into the pan lined with lady fingers. Gave it a good shake or two and stuck it in the fridge to finish chilling.

OK, so maybe I didn't exactly snatch success from the jaws of defeat. Let's just say it wasn't a total failure. 

It tastes good but the stuff never set as a whole. There's no real slicing and serving because it has no body to speak of, the mixer having whipped tons of air into it and it didn't settle back down.

It would have been more efficient to serve it with a spoon than the spatula I had used.

edit:  it was a little firmer the second night

the last days of 2018

You might remember the last time I renewed my driver's license, I couldn't pass the eye test so I had to go get prescription glasses for the first time in my life which I subsequently lost several years later in the Harvey flood. I bought a pair of readers for $5 which I managed to hang on to until maybe a couple of months ago when they went missing, out in the yard somewhere I'm sure. No problem, I had an old pair I had kept from before the eye test but it also went missing a week ago and also probably lost out in the yard somewhere, buried under the mountain of leaves I raked up. Well, phoo. OK, one more extra pair that I don't like because they have metal frames with the separate nose thingies that get tangled up in my hair on top of my head when not in use so off to the CVS to get new ones. They ranged in price...$12, $20, and $30. I was used to paying $10 for good quality frames and lenses. I won't buy the really cheap ones at the Dollar Store because the frames are flimsy and the lenses are crappy. OK, so $12, I got them home, slipped off the tag, only to discover that they were Dollar Store quality. For $12. They went back the next day and I went to the Store of Last Resort (that would be Walmart) unless I want to drive to the next town or further to the nearest shopping mecca. Usually I'll wait till I have enough errands accumulated to make it worth the trip to the shopping mecca but I find myself slipping more and more rationalizing that it's just this one item. This particular item was good quality glasses for $10 that came with a shiny purple case to slip them in. Damn you Walmart.

very spiffy, doncha think?

I've made no effort to replace my prescription glasses as I couldn't see any difference with or without them while driving and I figure if I get stopped, as long as I have some glasses on, they aren't going to question me.

It's been a dreary few days, cold and overcast. Nothing blooming out in the yard except for the roses, spare and halfhearted, and the pansies. I keep thinking these days would be good to play with the modeling glass but Friday I went over to my sister's to visit with my niece who is visiting her mother for a few days. And yesterday I decided to make a Charlotte Russe.

somehow I don't think mine is going to look nearly this good

Charlotte Russe was a favorite childhood dessert of mine, and rare as my mother rarely made it, though she did make me one for one of my adult birthdays one year. I've never made a Charlotte Russe but when we were in Trader Joe's I saw lady fingers and bought them on impulse and yesterday I decided to make good on that impulse  

I think I was writing this down as my mother was dictating it to me over the phone...decades ago

so I dragged out the recipe, soaked the gelatin, melted the chocolate, stirred in the boiling water, added the sugar and half the evaporated milk, stirred in the gelatin, and then happened to look at the empty can of sweetened condensed milk sitting on the counter. Well, fuck. A quick check on the internet assured me one could not be substituted for the other in cooking. I was tempted to just keep going and see what I ended up with but the other half of the evaporated milk needed to be whipped and folded in and condensed milk doesn't whip, so saith my sister whom I had already called once before about what the directions meant by 'paste' but considering she's never made one either there was no satisfactory conclusion, which turned out to be neither here nor there as I ended up dumping it out in the field with the intent to try again today. With all the correct ingredients.

The robo-vac arrived Friday and it's been busily humming all around the house. 

the Mooka mooking around

It's like Christmas every time we recharge it and empty the 'bin'. It had only been four days since I had vacuumed and the floors didn't look like they needed it so we are amazed at how much dust and dirt and pet hair and stuff it has sucked up. I'll still need to get out the big vac now and then as the robo-vac can't get in some corners or under some furniture or in areas where there are too many furniture legs too close together and I have to pick up the small oriental rugs because, while it will travel over them, the fringes get tangled up in it but...I LOVE this thing.

Well, tomorrow is New Year's Eve and maybe I'll play with the modeling glass then or I might make a coffee cake that was a staple in our house growing up that I haven't made in decades (I've gotten so old everything is decades ago) (if I can excavate that recipe) to go with our brunch and mimosas on New Year's Day.

We'll see. First I have to venture out to the grocery store.

post christmas post

I trust everyone who celebrates Christmas had a lovely day. It was quiet and peaceful here. If you've been reading me for awhile you know it's not a holiday I participate in. If you are new here and are curious I wrote about it most recently here and here. If you want me at my cynical best read the last two paragraphs here. And so as is the tradition on the day after Christmas, millions of people flocked to the stores yesterday to return all those gifts you bought so lovingly or thoughtfully or just grabbed in desperation.

Trump's Christmas present to civil servants was, of course, to shut down the government putting them on furlough days before the holiday denying them the ability to, you know, pay their mortgages, all because he hates brown people. Trump and his administration's cruelty and heartlessness knows no bounds. I'd say that it couldn't get worse but I know better than to invoke the gods and so on Christmas Eve, ICE dropped off hundreds of migrants, that they could no longer hold in detention, at a bus station and a park in El Paso and hundreds more on Christmas Day with no money, no food, no blankets, no guidance, and without alerting the charities, shelters, and churches in advance that help integrate these people so they could be ready for them with beds, food, and advocates. Yes, we want them released, not held indefinitely in detention or until their hearings come up but we want it done in a compassionate manner, coordinating with the agencies and organizations that help them with the transition. You would think that even Trump's minions would have a modicum of compassion on Christmas Eve but apparently even that is beyond them. Not, of course, that it would be any more acceptable on any other day of the year but because of all the hype that goes into Christmas in this country, it seems a little more callous.

I imagine all the hard hearted right wing commenters on immigration stories and posts were chortling with glee...you liberals wanted them all released, well, here ya go, put them up in your home, you feed them and clothe them, how many are you volunteering to take? I can't tell you how many times I have read that in response to someone who is against a wall on the border and against tearing families apart and placing them in detention. How do they go through life like that...fearful, jealous, ungenerous, uncaring, angry and hateful. Compassion helped us survive as a species, when we were small groups and needed everyone to survive in order to survive. And that same need caused us to engage in hospitality, welcoming friend and stranger alike with food and drink and shelter for the night if need be. What has happened?

Ah well, there are good things happening out there. The citizens of El Paso stepped up, the twins, back from their respective colleges, and their mom came out to visit yesterday, the grandboy has a new puppy, the sun is shining after two inches of rain last night accompanied by lightning and thunder which kept the dog and me awake half the night while she trembled and panted in my face, my neighbors waved as they drove by this morning while I was in the front yard, the chickadees and cardinals are helping themselves to the sunflower seeds in the tea cup, and today is Marcmas! He was moaning yesterday about flipping over to 67. I have little sympathy since I'm facing 69 in four months. Birthdays around here usually mean a movie and dinner out but so far no plans have been made.

So, one more week of being mostly unproductive and lazy that I justify because holidays, treading water while the last of this year comes to a much deserved end.

the 'to do' list continued albeit with much less energy and a quiet day

Monday:

you can get up if you want but I'm staying in bed

  * Plant the peas

√ * Vacuum the rest of the house – I even beat the two small oriental rugs (cough cough) and then I ordered a robot vacuum cleaner

  * Mop the floor in my studio and kitchen

√ * Rake the Little Backyard - oof

yes, I know it doesn't look like I raked but you did see the 'before' picture, right?

  * Clean off the work table in the garage

  * Wash the car (now that all the windows are clean)

Stuff I did that wasn't on the list:

Morning yoga routine - yay, 2 days in a row!

Washed 3 days worth of dishes

Used the 4 long S hooks (previous estate sale find) to temporarily hang the 4 bird houses (also estate sale finds) I have accumulated (I had 5 but I used one for the present exchange at the garden club christmas party last week after I spiffed it up a bit), probably not where they will stay but at least they aren't on the work table in the garage anymore

two of the four

Went and picked up the gift for my sister that I had to order because I waited too long and they were sold out that finally arrived!

Walked the dog – the short walk today, very quiet in the neighborhood

Sat my butt on the couch and settled in for the evening

Tuesday:

A quiet overcast day with no expectations, stuff nothing to do, or places to be. It's a good thing too because the body is groaning.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate.

the 'to do' list that has nothing 'to do' with christmas

Saturday I drove into the city and visited with my daughter while she and Jade wrapped presents then Jade and Robin went with me to run my errands, one of which was to add to the set of 24 colored pencils I have (I now have 48). We were going to have a late lunch but the place my vegan granddaughter wanted to eat at and the place she was willing to eat at were both closed so lunch was a bust as I was ready to head back.

Today I slept late, did my yoga, we had our late Sunday brunch and then I started on the chores that have been piling up around here.

√ * Clean out the gutter across the front of the house (the only one we have left) - had to drag out the big ladder and if I'm not covered with bruises later from banging that thing around it will be a miracle

√ * Climb on the roof and clear off the big branch, small branches, and leaves - did not fall off, big plus!

√ * Rake the leaves away from the foundation and off the concrete apron - fantasizing about a leaf blower

√ * Clean all the glass inside and out on the car and the coverings on the lights front and back - of course the entire rest of the car is dirty

  

  * Plant the peas

√ * Cut the small trees down growing next to the fence over at the shop - did 5 today but still several more and a butt load of wild grape, it's an ongoing job

√ * Vacuum the house - well, half of it anyway but I had to sweep the studio first

  

  * Mop the floor in my studio and kitchen

√ * Put the bird feeder up – I actually did this the other day

√ * Rearrange the shelving unit and bakery rack to get all the frit and powder off the floor - though now I think I should move the frit to the bottom two shelves

 

    

  * Rake the Little Backyard

√ * Walk the dog - it was even the long walk!

  * Clean off the work table in the garage

  * Wash the car (now that the windows are nice and clean)

Guess I'll work on the rest tomorrow. If I can get out of bed.

an autumn sky and the last adult leaves the room

The banshees were back. The wind howled and shrieked all day yesterday. It was a beautiful day otherwise, clear sky and pleasant, well except for the wind which had a bite to it. 

I'm having a hard time getting motivated this week. I've done nothing with the modeling glass samples I rolled out and dried, or the one feather that I keep having to repair. Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow I tell myself every day. I did scrape the kiln shelf and applied fresh kiln wash to it.

There's so much stuff that needs to be done...vacuuming and mopping the floors, clearing off the table in the garage to give me some work space, raking the leaves off the concrete apron outside the garage and the little backyard, getting a container to keep my balls of modeling glass in, reorganizing the garage after all the construction, acquiring more shelving units, cut down the small trees growing against the fence over at the shop, it just goes on and on.

I'm headed into the city tomorrow because I guess the last three weekends there just wasn't enough. But the twins are back from college for a few days and Jade is going to photograph my drawings with her fancy camera with an eye to getting note cards printed up and I want to go to the art supply store and get more colored pencils, colors I don't have, with an eye to doing some more little drawings and one or two other little errands.

It looks like the last adult is leaving the White House completely giving the asylum over to the inmates, not that I have any admiration for Mad Dog Mattis, or Kelly for that matter, but they, at least, are intelligent and understand the issues, unlike any of Trump's other appointees who don't have even a basic idea of what their jobs entail or what they are supposed to be doing besides getting a paycheck like Kirstjen Neilsen, director of Homeland Security who didn't even know how many legal ports of entry there are along our southern border, had no knowledge of the studies that show immigrants are far less likely to commit crimes than native born, or know how many people have died while in the care of her department. And now Trump is getting ready to shut down the government over a boondoggle while Republican Rep. Mark Meadows tells those getting ready to be furloughed or expected to work without pay that they 'signed up for this' as a civil servant. Of course, he is still getting paid. And the stock market is nose diving, people are being laid off, factories are closing, black lung disease is increasing, interest rates are rising, prices are rising as Trump's policies finally start to show their effect while he hands the Middle East over to Russia and Iran and thumbs his nose at what is left of our allies.

But, hey, Happy Holidays y'all.