Showing posts with label one liners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one liners. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

ponder us




Once again I am preparing for a foray into the city, this time for 3 days while I try to drum up some business, get these molds in the kiln and help my g'girls with their Halloween costumes. So I leave you with these...


modern zen koans


Why does my head feel so big when I'm looking out of it but so small when I put my hands up to it?

Why is it that every time I wake in the middle of the night and listen for the clock to chime to know what time it is, it always chimes just once for the half hour?

Why do teen sizes come in odd numbers and women's sizes come in even numbers when I'm a woman who wears an odd number?

Why do the chiggers bite me and not him?

Why is it that every time I forget and leave the soaker hose on all night, it rains the next day?

Why does the cat always want out at 5 o'clock in the morning?

Why don't guys wear tank tops? On second thought, after seeing my neighbor in one, I'm glad they don't.

Why do all the big ticket items always crap out at the same time?

Why do meteor storms always peak between 3 AM and 5 AM?

Why is it still summer in late October?


Saturday, August 21, 2010

a country tale


photo via http://www.flickr.com/photos/50084831@N00/2163695984/



The pecan trees have started to drop their immature fruit.

Baby toads are everywhere outside and I'm wondering how that can be.

The ground is dry and cracked.

A family group of blue jays has been monopolizing the birdbath.

Two days ago it pretended to rain.

The driveway barely got wet.

No rain for weeks and the cotton is taller than I am.

But the corn has gone completely brown.

I saw that the farmers are starting to cut it down.

The hay fields are being mowed.

And the tallow is dropping leaves from the lack of rain.

Or perhaps the wheel has turned a little.


Sunday, February 14, 2010

spring hopes eternal



a story in 12 sentences...


Winter came early and has been much colder than normal.

On February 12, 2010 there was snow on the ground in 49 of 50 states.

We used the same amount of propane at the country house in the last 6 weeks that we used for the previous 8 months.

The weather prognosticators are saying this weather might last for another 4 weeks.

I saw two pear trees and a japanese magnolia in full bloom yesterday, but then they have always been eager.

The birds are having territorial issues.

The cat went out today and didn't want back in after 5 minutes.

The weather prognosticators are often wrong.

Today was warm and sunny, warm enough to go barefoot and dig weeds out of the garden.

Alas, they are sometimes right.

Another week of cold wet gray days is currently blowing in.

It's not warm enough to go barefoot any more.


Monday, November 9, 2009

one liners

(Today’s font is Skia.)

About 1:30 Sunday afternoon, my body refused to function.

Sometime in the last two days, the pecan trees started giving up their leaves.

I missed the most spectacular sunset Saturday night.

I think the farmer who farms the fields at the end of our road is off his meds.

Leo is on a chain and the dog pack is down to two young adults and one puppy.

High speed at the country house is awesome.

I finally planted some wildflower seeds I’ve had for 5 years.

It wasn’t much better on Monday.

The glass for job #1 is being delivered on Friday.

Why do I always get the new guy?

Shelling pecans continues.

I think we have attained arrangement of the furniture.

The SOFA/Chicago show was this weekend and I’m still glad we didn’t go.

I think I have been making a chrysalis this last year.

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