a pain woke me up

Tuesday night about 1:30, I was asleep, dreaming I had a pain and as it moved up to my back in my dream, the pain woke me up. It was fairly high up between my shoulder blades right about where my heart is. My afib was going nuts, heartbeat really fast and irregular. The pain wasn’t terrible, I’ve had back spasms worse than this was, but it was enough to wake me up. Whoa, what the fuck is this. Am I having a heart attack? I sat up on the edge of the bed wondering if I should put some clothes on (I sleep naked) in case I had to call the EMTs. I got up and went to the bathroom, went back to bed and propped myself up a little, googled heart attack in women on my phone and of all the symptoms the pain in my back was the only one. I could feel the afib in my chest but it didn’t feel like it was being squeezed, wasn’t hard to breathe, no pain in my jaw or in my arm, not nauseous. It subsided a little while I played solitaire trying to calm the afib down some. Pain flared back up so I sat on the edge of the bed again trying to decided what, if anything, to do, and this time sat up completely in bed against the wall trying to distract myself with other games until the pain subsided and I laid down and went back to sleep. If you’re wondering where Marc was during this, we sleep in separate bedrooms because his snoring keeps me awake and with the dog and sometimes the cat, that double bed is just too small.

Miraculously, I woke up Wednesday morning, afib still active. After breakfast I worked outside for two hours digging up newly sprouted pecan and oak trees or cutting them at ground level and spraying a little poison on the exposed cut so they wouldn’t come back which they will do it you just cut them down. Came in about 1 PM hot, soaked, and sweaty and the afib was still a little active. Usually some physical activity will calm it down. It finally settled down into a nice sinus rhythm about 5:30. And then sometime during the night Wednesday night it started back up and I’ve been in afib since though not as intense as Tuesday night.

I did go ahead and go to SHARE Thursday morning and talked to one of the volunteers who had had a heart attack last year, asking about her experience. I told her what I had experienced and she encouraged me to call my doctor and if it happened again and didn’t stop after a few minutes to go to the ER. So when I got home I timed my pulse, at least 100 bpm, a little faster I think with skips or extra beats. I called my doctor’s office and talked to the nurse, ran it all by her. I had my regular biannual appointment scheduled for the 29th but she rescheduled me for next Wednesday the 22nd and told me that if it happens again or I get lightheaded and feel like I’m going to pass out before Wednesday and doesn’t stop after a few minutes to go to the ER and have them contact the office and to just take it easy until my appointment. By Thursday evening I didn’t feel very well, breaking out in sweats which are also a symptom of heart attack but also of afib and I do that a lot even sitting in the air conditioned house. I’d been in afib since Tuesday night with one short break and was starting to stress out, pretty freaked out about the whole thing. I went to bed and propped myself up playing games on my phone, really kind of afraid to go to sleep, until my heart settled down some, still a little fast but not too irregular

Friday morning…still alive! And feeling better, heart rate down to 86 bpm. If I make it through til next Wednesday without going to the ER I imagine the doctor is going to want to do a complete cardiac workup. I’ve only had that done once and that was 7 years ago right after I first started having episodes of afib during our trip to Hawaii but got a clean bill of health then.

So that’s what’s happening with me and now I need to take my mind off it because I’m starting to feel a little stressed out about it. A heart attack is not on my to do list.

busy day and bone health

*I'm keeping this up for a while to make sure everyone who checks in now and then sees it. I assume those who already get email notices will continue to get them up until July when the 'follow by email' stops functioning. I've reinstalled the blogger 'follow me' widget.

I did manage to download the subscriber list with over 1,000 spam 'subscribers' all from outlook.com and all within a couple of months after I first put the widget on my sidebar. I ended up with 23 legit subscribers. So, starting in July, my intention is to email links to the group when I publish a new post. If you are in this group but do not wish to continue receiving notices of new posts, just reply with 'remove'.

Still can't figure out why my pictures won't open full size when you click on them. Most my images are 10” in the longest dimension, sometimes 12”, sometimes 8”. There must be a setting somewhere but I can't find it. I usually drag my images from the desktop to the post body but this time I'll use the 'add image' function to see if that makes a difference.

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Thursday was a busy day. Spent my morning at SHARE, then after lunch I used the trimmer to cut the ditch in front of Pam's house (two gas tanks worth of time) including the large patch of poison ivy (that I've poisoned TWICE) that had started growing and while I was wearing a hat, sunglasses, long pants, and boots, I did have on a short sleeved shirt so when I finished that I peeled off the long pants full of poison ivy juice and jumped in the car (yes, I did put on other pants) and went to the feed store for the poison ivy soap they sell and another container of brush/stump killer to treat the poison ivy with again when it puts on more new growth. Then I scrubbed the exposed skin on my arms and neck with the soap and so far so good.

Next was walking the dog, then washing the dishes of which I only got the plates done because I was also fixing the roasted cauliflower recipe that Ms Moon sent me (and it is really good). I figured I would have time to wash the utensils during one of the two 15 minute roasting times but alas that did not happen. I had asked my sister to pick me up a small jar of green olives when she went to the store which she did saying it was the only small jar they had and I didn't realize they weren't pitted until the cauliflower was in the oven and I was ready to make the dressing. With chopped up green olives. Turns out you can't just pit a green olive like you can a cherry. I had to pare as much of the olive off the seed as I could until I had 1/3 cup. So there went my utensil washing time. Also, the recipe called for pancetta or bacon, no pancetta, I'll just use bacon but it wasn't until I was making it that I realized they must have meant canadian bacon because I was supposed to cut it up into 1/8” cubes. No way was I going to cut up four slices of raw bacon into 1/8” cubes so I fried it and crumbled it and just sprinkled it on after the cauliflower had finished roasting.

If you're not interested in my bone health you can skip the next paragraph.

Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with my primary care doc to discuss the results of my bone scan. They scan two areas, the femur and the lumbar spine and there are two scores for each, the T score which is a healthy woman of childbearing age and the Z score which is the average norm for post-menopausal women. Women tend to lose bone density as the estrogen levels decline. My previous scan was five years ago so in five years, my femur went from a Tscore of -2.2 to -2.6 and a Zscore of -0.6 to -0.9 so a slight decrease. The lumbar spine went from a Tscore of -2.5 to -3.1 and a Zscore of -0.5 to -1.0 so a larger decrease in bone density there. Five years ago my chance of a bone fracture was 12.5% within 10 years. My doc calculated my current risk of fracture with the new data and that has increased to 13.something% now. Still pretty good odds. She didn't recommend the medication because she knows I won't take it (heinous side effects and not that effective) and because of my general health and activity levels. She did recommend exercises to strengthen core muscles (which I do some already) to help protect my lumbar spine. I really like my doctor, she's an osteopath so open to proactive health measures like diet and exercise and supplements as opposed insisting on meds for every condition though she will prescribe them if/when needed.

It rained off and on all day yesterday which we really needed and I spent the rest of the day doing nothing including not washing the utensils.

Since I need an image or two to test the whole embiggin thing here's a picture of my sister, brother and me taken the night before he left. Pam is the oldest, then me (on the left), the rebellious middle child, then John, the baby. Not a great picture of me but whatcha gonna do?

And this of two carpenter bees on the rocket larkspur.

Edit: yay! The images embiggin!

 

now really, this is getting ridiculous

I did something I rarely do. I replied to all the comments I got on my last post. Thanks for all the support and suggestions. I already have acquired two pair of wrap around sunglasses (do I still need to wear them on overcast days?) and the AREDS-2 eye vitamins. I had to get the chewable, and thank the gods they have a chewable version, because even the “new smaller size” gel cap picture on the box looked borderline on my ability to swallow it. I can swallow food just fine. Pills beyond a certain size just don't want to go down.

The days have been trending warm but heavy fog and overcast skies and drizzle and drippy and wet everything have not inspired me to do any work outside. So Saturday I did a little weeding but it was too wet and got one errand accomplished and spent the rest of the day reading. Didn't do much else Sunday, still overcast but not drippy. Did my yoga, filled the bird feeder which is already half empty, did the dishes and the once a week baking soda/vinegar drain cleaning, swept the in house studio room which also functions as a big mud room since both back doors open into it, not mud so much as leaves and dirt that gets blown and tracked in. Took a shower, walked the dog, settled on the couch and read some more.

But bodily ailments, it seems, are still not done with me and I have just about had enough. Saturday morning I woke up with a sore spot on the pad of my right foot just below the pinkie toe, felt like it does when you pick up a little thorn without noticing and the next day it hurts. Another similar sore spot on my heel right at the callous line which I attributed then to needing to scrape down the callous. By midday, the tips of two fingers on my left hand were red and sore, by the end of the day it had spread to the tips of two fingers on my right hand and the spots on my foot became more painful. Saturday night my foot itched something terrible and yes, I rubbed the hell out of it. Sunday morning it had spread further on my foot including a couple of toes. By Sunday evening it appeared on the base of my left palm and under the middle finger of my right hand and the spots on my foot were increasing and more painful. And when I say appeared, that was the first time I could actually see something, a small red bump, besides redness and maybe a little swelling. During the night, hands and feet itched like crazy and today the spots have crept down my four fingers and now my left foot has a sore spot on the callous line at my heel. What! The! Fuck!

Fortunately, I had a follow up appointment with the dermatologist this morning. Unfortunately, she didn't know what was going on with my hands and feet but she did prescribe an ointment. Unfortunately the pharmacy where she sent it didn't have it, but fortunately another pharmacy in town did. Also fortunately, the original sore spot I noticed Saturday morning seems to be already getting better Monday late afternoon even without the ointment. 'Seems' being the operative word.

I admit, my optimism and good humor deserted me today. This crazy 'rash' would be easier to deal with if I could point to a cause but I haven't been working out in the yard or doing anything I haven't been doing the past year. The only thing I can think of is getting my eyes dilated on Friday but I haven't been able to find where an allergic reaction to that would cause a crazy affliction on my hands and feet.

I'd ask, at this point, what the fuck el... but I know better than to invoke the gods.

so much excitement I can hardly stand it

Cold and overcast outside Monday. Sunday low rumbling thunder began just before dawn and it rained all morning til about noon, thunder, lightning, heavy rain at times. Little dog was already trembling and panting when we rolled out of bed so I gave her a half of the CBD chew that worked so well last time. 30 minutes later gave her the other half but while she wasn't quite as manic she didn't stop the trembling and panting til the rain stopped. Almost 3” of rain.

So I went and had my covid test on Sunday. She handed me a bag of stuff through the drive-up prescription window...a vial of liquid, the swab, an alcohol wipe, a page of info. First loosen the cap on the vial, next unwrap the swab and stick it up one nostril, make 3 revolutions inside your nostril and let it sit for 15 seconds, stick it up the other nostril and repeat, remove the cap off the vial and stick the icky swab inside using the edge of the vial and the notch on the swab stick to break off the stick leaving the icky swab in the fluid, cap it, place it back in the zip lock bag, use the alcohol wipe to lift the top of the metal container beside the window, deposit the bag and wipe the entire length of the top of the metal container, throw the trash away at home. It was uncomfortable but not painful, made my eyes water but I was more afraid it was going to make me sneeze while it was up there. Now I wait. So no yoga class til I get my results. Tomorrow maybe. And I had to reschedule my dermatologist appointment.

Sunday was warm, high 70s, wind coming from the south until about 3 PM when it shifted suddenly coming from the north very gusty and the temperature started dropping. I managed to get the half dozen or so plants back in the house or garage before the rain really started coming down Sunday morning because while it was warm then, Sunday night hit mid 30s. The yellow angel trumpet enjoyed its few days outside and now has three open blooms on it.

Marc and I both have been researching KETO diet and also pre-diabetes diet and basically, I already eat all the good stuff, already don't eat the bad stuff, don't need to and shouldn't lose any weight so that just leaves carbs. I tried the riced chickpea rice substitute Sunday night (several other types out there) and it was OK, just nothing like rice, more like a creamy orzo. And I confess I did make another crostata but I had already thawed out the peaches and it was just half peaches and half dewberry and blueberry. 

And I checked the patient portal to see what my A1C is...5.6 with 5.7 and up being considered pre-diabetic so the A1C puts me in the normal range if only just while my blood sugar puts me in the pre-diabetic range.

So like I said, cold soggy and overcast yesterday, and today the same, only supposed to hit mid 50s so I'm inside all day again though the library called yesterday and they want their book back which I just finished Sunday night so I slipped it in the outdoor book drop but no browsing for something new to read. Guess I'll just continue to shell pecans, my evening activity all last week which is also my book reading time and why it was so overdue that the library called.

What an exciting life I lead, right? I did get the little table inside cleared off that I use for drawing so maybe I'll get motivated to try a watercolor again. And remember those two packages of two year old sweet pea seeds I planted a week or so ago? Well, 7 have sprouted.

And finally, a picture of Emma and Big Mama hanging out together.

a rant, more doctor shit, and attempted sedition

Well, dammitall. My new jeans arrived yesterday and they are, as I suspected they would be, the stretchy 505s. After I posted about ordering the jeans I looked at the label in my stretchy pair and it's the same in the pair that arrived yesterday...

this is the label from my older non-stretchy pair...

so once again a perfectly fine product has been changed into a not fine product. Why the fuck do women's clothes makers think that all women want stretchy pants and stretchy shirts for that matter. Couldn't they have just left 505s alone and introduced a new product? And now I'm glad I didn't buy two pairs. So now the hunt for decent jeans is on again. Am I going to have to go back to wearing men's jeans which I did for decades because I could not find a pair of women's jeans that weren't 4” too long (no, not every woman wears 4” heels all the time), weren't cinched in at the waist or so low riding they barely covered my pubic bone, weren't covered with spangly shit, or stretchy. I want my jeans the right length, the waist just above my hip bones, and not stretchy or spangly or pre-torn. Why is that so fucking impossible?

This is my month for doctor appointments I guess, get them all over with at once, so Wednesday was my follow-up with the electrophysiologist. Since the afib has settled down, especially since the election, he is content to keep the status quo so I don't see him for another six months unless it starts acting up again. Don't wait til the next appointment and to call if I start having problems, he tells me, we are partners here you and I, he says.

Next Tuesday is my dermatologist appointment but January 21^st is the soonest I could get the bone density scan scheduled. What I'm not getting this year is the boob smushing as my PCP says I only need one every other year so yay for that.

I'm not even going to address the unbelievable and unthinkable, as it was pre-Trump, lawsuit petition to the Supreme Court by Texas' AG Paxton to overturn the election results in Georgia, Arizona, Wisconsin, and Michigan and the AGs from 17 other red states and 126 House Republicans as well as Trump himself that have submitted amicus briefs in support of the petition to overturn a legal and secure election to appoint Trump as the winner after over 50 lawsuits have been thrown out of court for lack of one iota of evidence or proof of fraud. Even Barr has said there was no fraud. So many republicans willing and ready to commit sedition because their guy lost. It remains to be seen if the Supreme Court is just as willing to commit sedition and throw our democracy and constitution to the wolves.

edit: the Supreme Court turned them down.

And you know, they aren't contesting every vote on a ballot that went for Biden for president since they are perfectly happy with the votes that got them elected or re-elected to the House and Senate. Apparently only votes for Biden are fraudulent but the down ballot votes for republicans are all on the up and up. And where does Texas get off contesting how other states ran their elections?  yes, I'm a Texan but not all of us are crazy or stupid   No place, there is no train or bus stop for that destination. Paxton is being investigated for criminal activity and the FBI subpoenaed records from his office the day before he filed his petition so the conventional wisdom is that he's angling for a pardon from Trump by showing his loyalty with this ridiculous lawsuit.

And Melania apparently had a member of her staff check to see if there was a government budget dedicated to paying the expense of their move out of the White House (there isn't). OK, that's enough of something I wasn't going to write about.

So ending up with a few critter pictures piling up...this little rat snake was sheltering under one of the cookie sheets I use to put the pots on inside,

I have many bird houses that mostly the birds don't use but the frogs like them,

wasps are pollinators too,

and Big Mama coming to see if I had food (I did not).

good stuff and not so good stuff

Whenever there's good news/bad news I always want the bad news first preferring to end the revelation on an up note. So, the not so good news first.

I had my annual yesterday with the results of my blood work and yes, my cholesterol is still a little high which I don't take meds for, my blood pressure was a little high (it fluctuates) and I don't take meds for that either and my PCP is fine with that, we just keep an eye on those things, thyroid levels good and I do take meds for that, however, my blood sugar level was 120 and anything over 100 is considered pre-diabetic. Last time I had blood work done it was 86, the time before that 108. A blood sugar level of 126 is considered diabetic. Yay me.

Diabetes runs in my family. My maternal grandfather was diabetic and his brothers all died from diabetes related health issues. My maternal aunt was diabetic. It seemed to have skipped my generation until a couple of years ago when my brother achieved the level of pre-diabetes and both my children have high blood sugar and now me. My sister is holding her own.

So dietary changes are in order. Since I don't use sugar, I drink my coffee black, don't drink soda, don't drink sweet tea, don't snack, only have desert in the house less than a fourth of the time, that leaves carbs. Now no more than a half cup serving at a time of corn, potatoes, rice, bread, tortillas, and pasta. Fruit should be limited to berries which have less sugar than tree fruit though I can still have tree fruit, just not a whole peach or banana etc. at one time. I can still have my evening cocktail with vodka and tequila being the best choices as they have the least sugar (so that's good cause that's what I drink) but no more orange juice as a mixer and I have to switch to diet tonic (actually the tonic I use does have a 'light' version but still uses sugar instead of chemical sweeteners, just not as much).

Oh, and I have a vitamin D deficiency which I surely don't understand as I'm outside nearly every day and I don't use sunscreen so she wants me to take a supplement. And of course vitamin D is essential for absorption of calcium so she scheduled a bone density test to see if my osteoporosis (something else I refuse to take a med for) is progressing or what.

Great. Just great. I turned 70 and started falling apart.

So, now, the good stuff.

As I mentioned previously, not one of our 4 pecan trees produced any nuts this year but my neighbor Leonard, who also has several trees, some of which produced, shared some of his with me

And my other neighbor Gary who knows a guy who manages a small pecan orchard and blah blah blah story and he's got a lot that got cracked by the picker (I assume that's a machine that gets them off the ground) and was happy to get rid of some and I came home to find this by my garage door.

More good stuff...Mary Moon sent me some roots of her pine cone lilies that I've been pining for (see what I did there?) and also included in the box was this sweet little feather and...

cookies! Her oatmeal, pecan, raisin, chocolate chip cookies and yes, I am going to eat them, pre-diabetic or not. They aren't that sweet so perfect for me.

And the last bit of good stuff is that I found the jeans I want, Levi's women's 505 straight leg size 6 S, on-line and ordered them and they'll be here Thursday. This style and size is almost impossible to find in stores. Not the style so much as the preferred color and size. And of all the places that came up from my internet search, only Amazon had the style, the preferred color, and my size. The last time I thought I ordered what I wanted, they turned out to be Levi's classic straight leg. Sounds the same right? Wrong. Classic straight leg are stretchy. So now I'll have two pair of intact jeans. My other two are torn out at the knee or just above and while people pay good money to buy jeans already torn out at the knee or just above, I'm not one of them. I get my torn out jeans the old fashioned way, by wearing them out.

spring stuff and heart stuff

I spent all of last week working out in the yard, six days in a row. Would have worked the seventh, Wednesday, but I had my follow-up with the cardiac RNP and then yoga class at 5:15. It was such a beautiful first day of spring that we had class outside. Wednesday evenings class is held at the local elementary school so we spread out on the lawn.

I got most of the wild mexican petunias dug up. 

before

after

This is going to be a constant battle because they spread to the other side of the chainlink fence and filled the space between it and the turtle pond which is crammed into the corner with an althea and a rose bush and I can't get back there unless I empty and move the turtle pond, something that ain't gonna happen.

Some of the denizens of the flower beds.

I also got the front flower bed weeded and half the long day lily bed which took two days. The other half should only take a day as it is more filled with stuff I want. Probably won't get to that til Friday as we went to the movie today to see Captain Marvel which, I imagine, if you are a Marvel fan you've already seen it so no preview.

The field behind us continues to fill out with the flowers creeping almost to us

and the wisteria over at the shop is coming into bloom.

The iris are not the tri-color I thought but white,

and the white fragrant climbing jasmine at the shop.

More poppies

and I finally made it over to the Hungerford Co-op for tomatoes, the only thing I'm planting this spring.

So, as mentioned above I had my next appointment with the cardiac RNP. Halfway through the last month I took it upon myself to double my dose of the beta blocker, keeping a close eye on my blood pressure and pulse, since I was seeing no improvement the previous two weeks even though I had three days in a row of no episodes but then I was having two a day and a couple of days off and on all day. I also quit having my evening cocktail and reduced my meager two cups of coffee to one cup a day in an effort to identify any triggers midway through the month but alas, still having an episode a day at varied times of day with an occasional day free. So I went to my appointment with my calendar of episodes and my list of dates with blood pressure and pulse notations and my list of questions and she didn't blink when I told her I had doubled my dose and that while it hadn't stopped the episodes of rapid and irregular heartbeat the last two weeks seemed less frequent and less severe. We talked about triggers and her opinion was, considering all the evidence, that I didn't have any triggers (yay! I can go back to my evil ways!), just a rogue spot in my heart that sends out these signals whenever it jolly well feels like it. So the next month, keep on the higher dose and I can take half a pill when I'm having an episode as long as I keep an eye on my blood pressure and pulse and I go in next week for the 24 hour monitor. If there is still no improvement by the next appointment, we will talk about other medications, possibly adding another. Not sure I want to pile up the meds so maybe the catheter ablation is in my future. Turns out I don't need to be having an episode for them to do it as they can stimulate me into one oh goody and she has a doctor in mind to refer me to since I was not interested in having some unknown through the emergency room do it. I want to know who the doctor is, want to meet with said doctor, want to know how experienced said doctor is in the technique, how many times said doctor has had unsatisfactory results, etc. She also said I may need to see an electrocardiologist which is a cardiologist that specializes in heart rhythms.

So with all this weighing on my mind I had the weirdest dream last night where I finally agreed to have the procedure but she wanted to admit me the next day but I told her I couldn't have it the next day because we were going to the movie and we had already bought our tickets but she could go ahead and admit me though I would leave for the movie but come back and then some other weird shit happened and I woke up.

Well, since alcohol does not seem to be a trigger, I'm going to go fix my evening cocktail.

winter does not give way gracefully

I woke up yesterday morning to discover that the sidebar on my blog had mysteriously migrated to the bottom of my post. WTF Blogger? When I looked at my layout on the Dashboard, everything was in its proper place so I have no idea what was happening. Back to the blog I clicked on the 'edit' pencil, changed nothing, refreshed the page and voila, everything is back in its place.

I also woke up yesterday morning to winter, again...cold, overcast, and due to be wet with drizzle all day. Another delay in getting my raised beds ready for the spring garden. I got the small white one finished Monday and all the surface weeds and a little more than half of digging out the johnson grass in the small metal one, which is already falling apart, the 2x4s that the metal walls are nailed to having rotted away.

It was so dreary out there the dog didn't even want to go out. Me either. I had several options for indoor activity...sit on the couch under a blanket and read, sew the patch pockets on my skirt, play around with the modeling glass. I could fill the big drowned feather mold that's been sitting here since December but to do that I would have to clear off the folding table the sewing machine is set up on.

I opted for sewing on the pockets, which is now accomplished and the sewing machine and paraphernalia is put away, and then snuggled on the couch with a blanket, the dog, and book the rest of the day.

This morning was my follow-up appointment with the cardiac RNP. Episodes are down by half or more, no side effects from the meds so far, feeling good but then I never really felt bad. She didn't increase the beta blocker dose, fearing it would lower my pulse rate which was at 62. So, stick with the status quo, let my body continue to acclimate to the drugs and come back in a month, call if I get concerned. And thanks to everyone who commented about dealing with, living with afib. It helped.

It cleared up outside during my appointment and it turned into an unexpected pretty day. Coldish in the shade and wind. I got out there and worked on the raised beds, once again my last opportunity before the next three days which are supposed to be overcast and wet though not quite so cold. I got the small metal bed finished except for one corner where the fire ants moved in so  I gave them the 'treatment' and started getting the surface weeds out of the big metal bed and then it was time to walk the dog and get ready for yoga. 

I do like to dig. I like to smell the dirt, I like to crumble it through my fingers. I like the satisfaction of seeing a bed devoid of weeds ready to plant (though these aren't quite there yet).

Still being mobbed by goldfinches which I thought would have migrated through long ago. I'm having to fill the teacup and the bird feeder every other day or so. Lots of little volunteer sunflowers underneath.

I'll just close here with some spring porn...

matters of the heart and other things

I got a phone call from the cardiologist RNP's office Wednesday morning, they had my referral and I could come back in that day if I wanted. I wanted. I finished my interview with the assistant, told her I was currently having an episode (which started up on my way to the office), she hurried me into the EKG room and finally! got it recorded. The RNC came in with the printout, sat down, looked at me and said I was in atrial fibrillation (heart rate 125 with normal being 60 - 100) and she wanted me to go immediately to the emergency room after she started me on a blood thinner for a chemical ablation (intravenous) in order to stop it immediately since oral medication would take too long. Whoa nellie! Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I balked. I really don't want to go to the ER and I really don't want to go on blood thinners. The blood thinner, she explained, was because when a heart is in afib, blood pools in the upper chamber, and gets gooey I guess, and could throw a clot and cause a stroke. Hmmm. I still didn't want to go to the ER (expensive and because SOP is 'cover your ass' they would want to admit me and run every test they could think of, also expensive even with insurance, and I would be there for days if not a week) but I agreed to go on the blood thinner while we discussed meds and other more invasive procedures that might be done if it couldn't be controlled with meds. I told her I was confident that the current episode would pass soon enough because that was the pattern of the last three months and that I would prefer to start with the least invasive approach which was the oral beta blocker combined with the blood thinner but that if two or three hours from then I was still in afib, I would go to the ER (said mostly to ease her mind). I left with a sample packet of blood thinner while she called in the scrip for the beta blocker and, as I expected, the episode passed soon enough. So now I'm on two new meds and I go back to see her next Thursday. So far, so good.

Last Thursday was Garden Club meeting day and Estate Sale day where I found this iguana 

so I was gone most of the day though in between I did get the rest of the roses pruned back as well as the ground spreading lantana and the water sprouts off one of the crepe myrtles while Marc mowed over at the shop.

Foggy and overcast and drippy yesterday morning, and this morning, which has been the norm lately but cleared up and finished trimming around the crepe myrtles. My poor raised garden beds are a disaster 

so I worked over there most the day yesterday 

and plan to again today once it clears up and if it's not too wet from the current foggy drizzle.

yo-yo weather and another feather

Yesterday it was 71˚ and then plunged to 30˚ during the night with a light rain, currently 38˚. Such is our yo-yo winter weather. Once again I gambled and didn't cover anything though I don't generally worry about quick dips between 32˚ and 30˚. I haven't been out yet but the foliage on one of the angel trumpets and the jasmine that I can see from here look fine.

Here's the new heron feather, 7 1/2". Eventually they'll be slumped to have some curve to them.

Overall it came out better than the first one but a little too blue I think. Still shiny even though Marc adjusted the firing schedule so I think that's a function of using transparent powder over the base rather than opaque powder but since I haven't done one with opaque powder I don't know for sure. I'm using the transparent powder for the blue heron feather because I don't have the right blue color in the opaque glass powders and I think I can mitigate the shininess with my finishing process buffing it down. I have two more feathers I want to try which will be done in opaques which is what many of the samples are about, trying to get the right browns.

I had an appointment with the GP Monday. I finally broke down and made the appointment as I've been having almost daily episodes of irregular heartbeat of varying intensity and varying lengths of time, usually minor lasting only an hour or so but it's been going on for a couple of months now. The good news is my blood pressure was fine and while I was talking to the doctor it started up so she was able to hear it...three beats, drop the third beat, skip a beat...she sent me down immediately for an EKG but as usually happens, by the time I was hooked up and relaxed on the table, the little pumper was beating along on a happy rhythm so she referred me to a cardiologist to wear the 24 hour monitor. Still waiting to set the appointment.

It's still raining lightly out there but should stop soon and clear up some this afternoon and then off to yoga this evening.

I'm not even going to comment on the state of the government, the Republican traitors in charge of the continuing shut down and the 30% of the population that still supports them, or the smug little MAGA hat wearing bastard whose rich family hired a PR firm to spin his smirk and of course the MAGAts were invited to the White House or that his school sent a bunch of privileged white boys to protest women's reproductive rights or that Trump's main WH lawyer graduated from Covington. What is there to say that hasn't been said ad infinitum by better writers than me. At this rate there won't be much left of this country by 2020 which is exactly what they want. Putin is celebrating our demise.

once again, they have excluded themselves

image via:  https://dredf.org/2017/05/01/national-day-action-opposition-american-health-care-act/

With the exception of the less than a year between the time Marc and I married and when he quit his job at Hughes Tool Company to help build my little etched glass commission business, I have never had health insurance. And then he didn't either. Being working artists and living on a minimal and unpredictable income pretty much precluded a $600 or more per person monthly health insurance premium. Fortunately, we were and are blessed with good health and were always able to just pay as needed. Eventually, I reached the magic age of 65 and Medicare and supplemental insurance. I still have co-pays for office visits and tests, this round with the cardiologist cost me $219 including the original visit to my primary and the whole throat spasm/choking exploration with my primary and the ENT earlier this year was almost $400 though we have received two partial refunds from the hospital since for the tests they charged me for. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to check these two things out, I guess, even if the visits proved, ultimately, unnecessary but before I was eligible for Medicare, I wouldn't have even considered it. Had I had insurance before Medicare, I would have had a high premium that would have been more than my mortgage and a new car payment put together with a high yearly deductible for a policy that would not have covered any pre-existing conditions I might have had. So even with insurance I would have ended up paying the full amount for doctor visits and tests. It would have been, in essence, catastrophic coverage and had I had to use it, would have bankrupted me anyway.

Then Obama came along and helped change that scenario for millions of people and did things like make the insurance companies actually provide medical care with your monthly premium money and stopped them refusing to cover pre-existing conditions. I was just a few years away from Medicare so I never availed myself of the ACA especially since our Republican governor refused to accept the Medicaid expansion that would have helped underwrite policies for people like me because...Republican...so it was cheaper for us to just pay the penalty.

Now, with a Republican majority in both houses of Congress and a Republican president they are hell bent on taking that coverage away from big parts of the middle class, the working poor, and the elderly because, OMG, the uber rich are being taxed to help cover the costs, a pittance really compared to their worth. They want to take us straight back to for-profit health care (which used to be against the law in this country) where the insurance companies get rich and the people get screwed and health care costs skyrocket. They are trying to convince us all that 20+ million people won't lose coverage and that the elderly won't have to pay up to 8 times what they pay now, that life time caps on the amount insurance companies will have to pay out for your care isn't a bad thing, that when they cut back Medicaid to the bone all our nursing home residents won't be turned out into the street and all the children born with disabilities won't lose care, that nobody will miss having pre-existing conditions covered with just about every part of being female now, apparently, a pre-existing condition because, vagina. But fear not men, your viagra will still be covered just not birth control so better get used to wrapping that rascal. Even my coverage isn't even safe as they want to cut back Medicare as well.

So far, the Republicans have put forth such cruel and heinous plans that they can't even get enough Republican votes to repeal and replace the ACA but they are trying again next week to pass their version of a health care bill that they think is so wonderful that they have, once again, excluded themselves from, keeping all the goodies that Obama gave us for themselves while denying them to us.

Y'all know what to do...make those phone calls and vote against cruelty and hypocrisy.

all good news

And now I am done with all of the testing. They moved my 10 AM appointment today for the stress test up to 8 AM and I am not an early riser. I had less than a half hour between waking up and leaving the house. Did I mention it's a good hour's drive to see this cardiologist? It's on back roads though so no traffic and better scenery. So I drove to his office yesterday morning and got the heart monitor which I wore the rest of the day and the night and it is a pain to have to sleep with what with the five wires stuck to you and the little box in a pocket on a neck strap so I didn't get a great night's sleep between it and the cat who seems to consider it her life's mission to wake me up at least three times every night.

Today I returned the heart monitor and underwent the stress test. The first thing was to get my IV in so they could inject the radioactive tracer at the proper time. I was the tech's first stick of the day, I guess, and he had to stick me three times before he could get the IV in. The first one he just couldn't get. The second one he jabbed me a good one or two (still have a painful lump there and a deepening bruise) and then accused me of moving my arm and still didn't get it in. I told him basically that I'd had enough IVs and blood drawn in my life that I knew not to move my arm. The third time he switched to my other arm and did a perfect job but the whole thing didn't do my stress level any good considering the poor start to my day on an empty stomach and no coffee.

Next I was led to the room with the treadmill and they stuck 8 wires to my chest and buckled the box to my waist and from it went a cable or two to the monitor and I could see my heart beat rhythm jumping away on the graph. And, yeah, that's totally me in the picture unlike all those other old people in the waiting room.

image via: https://www.healthtap.com/topics/stress-test

They took my blood pressure which was a little on the high side (because the guy had just fucking stuck me three times and I didn't want radioactive anything injected into my blood) and again during the three different speeds on the treadmill and as the speed increased, so did my blood pressure. About halfway through the 8 minutes on the treadmill, they injected the nuclear tracer into my blood stream. Done with the treadmill, they unhooked all the wires, took out the IV, and sent me to the next room which was the x-ray machine where they attach three wires and you lay down on a bed of sorts and they push you into the working part and you lie still for about 10 minutes while this thing rotates around you and looks at the tracer flowing through your heart. 

image via: http://www.fredcardio.com/services-procedures/stress-testing/

Then they sent me into the waiting room where four other people were waiting to undergo the tests I had just had.

After a while they came and got me for my face to face with the doctor who said everything looked good, monitor had one little blip that he wasn't concerned about and the stress test was good, no sign of any blockage, good heartbeat, didn't even mention the AFib episodes and when I brought it up at the end he sort of waved it away as nothing to worry about. He was more concerned with my rising blood pressure during the test but not so much that he was going to suggest medication. Just monitor it at home and come back in a couple of months. I've never had a problem with my blood pressure until this year with first time visits to two doctors and lots of invasive tests with possible heinous results so if my blood pressure holds steady for the next two months, I'll probably put off the return visit.

One thing this whole experience has done has gotten me really in tune with my heartbeat. Sitting here, resting, I can close my eyes and sense my pulse, feel it throbbing along. I expect that will fade after a while when I return to a less vigilant position concerning my general well being.