Thursday, August 1, 2019

paralyzed with indecision

No, not because of that. It's about the piece I'm working on, the heron box. The only thing that has gone smoothly with this is making the models though I'm sure I griped plenty during that process. The first two pieces cast didn't have quite enough glass in them to the point that one at least will have to be reinvested and re-fired with the appropriate amount of glass. The other, the heron head inlay which otherwise came out good, for some reason the glass in a certain spot didn't quite melt all the way. I think. It may have to be reinvested and re-fired. So now I have to fill the egg mold and the sticks mold. I agonized half a day Tuesday over the egg trying to decide if one of the samples was 'enough' of what I was seeking from it. Finally, fuck it, I just forged ahead and went with it.

I wasn't agonizing just over the egg mold but the sticks mold as well. I agonized over that all fucking day to the point of being paralyzed by indecision. It's not that I've never done sticks before. I have and actually have three left over from other endeavors that I've been including in my agonizing. 

Because I can only guess at the formula that produced them and not because I don't have records, I have notebooks full of records...stick 1, stick 2, stick 3, …, stick 11...but without a picture or a sample piece I don't really know how the formula translates. Was it too pale, too dark, just right? I have a dozen or so colors involved. Ambers, browns, grays, whites.

All day.

Paralyzed with indecision. When I walked the dog I thought I would be better served in casting the box first because if that disaster of a mold in three pieces fell apart in the kiln then all this agonizing would be in vain. Though I suppose I would probably go ahead and cast them anyway. So much has already gone wrong with this piece. Finally that was what freed me. Fuck it. I selected three different grays and clear, two sticks one combo, one stick one combo as well as I can manage since most of the voids to fill with the frit are encased in plaster and I can't see how well they are packed. If they are packed. I'm actually using a pipe cleaner to push the frit into the spaces.

So I finally started on it Tuesday evening (didn't have time to work on it at all yesterday) and plan to finish today, one tiny spoonful at a time.


  1. So tedious. You could also use bamboo skewer sticks for the hard to reach places. Just take it one day at a time. Play music and relax while doing this. Don't go crazy about it. It will get done.

  2. I can hear your frustration. I am sure they will be beautiful when you are done.

  3. I don't know why, but the thought of doing sticks in glass seems amazing to me. I can't wait to see them -- sometimes just getting after it is all that's needed. You may be more pleased than you can imagine.

    1. I'm not even sure all the glass will melt down into those tunnels, that the piece will cast completely at this point. We'll know on Monday or Tuesday.

  4. Yes, I can well imagine this. Frustrating. I hope you have figured it out by now.
    Of course, to the ignorant observer, everything here looks amazing and inspiring and near perfect.

  5. As I learned from the movie "Risky Business": "Sometimes you just have to say, what the fuck."

    (Not that I think "Risky Business" is a particularly good model to follow for life lessons overall.)

  6. I hate it when that happens. I do marvel at those sticks, however. They are fecking fantastic!

  7. Art, that's usually how it tiny spoonful at a time.
    Are you saying that you can take a piece of already fired glass and put it with unfired and they will meld?
    This is going to be a very nice piece, especially because of the effort you've put in. In other words, a lot of fucking work!

  8. When done, this piece is going to be beautiful and...priceless. I mean seriously- woman, you have put your heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into it.


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