4. interlude – ellen gets stuck in the shower

So Tuesday morning, the second day, I woke up from a sad dream about my son with tears in my eyes and a headache and I still hadn't gotten a good night's sleep. I had set the alarm so that I would be sure to wake up for the morning meditation and I had 30 minutes to take a shower, get dressed, and get over to the Zendo.

I took some ibuprofen and collected my towel and stuff and padded down the hall to the shower which was a separate little room from the toilet and sink and thoughtlessly locked the door behind me. I got undressed and got my shampoo and washcloth and pulled the shower door open, closed it behind me and proceeded to wash my hair and body.

Finished with my shower, I used the squeegee and wiped down the shower and glass door, put the squeegee down and pulled on the shower door sideways to open it and it wouldn't budge.

OK. So I give it another pull. Then again with both hands and it still will not slide open.

Great, I think, I'm stuck naked in the freakin' shower. I give it another try with all the strength I can muster.

Finally I called out 'help' and the woman in the room next to mine happened to be passing by and stopped and called out to me so I told her I was stuck in the shower, that I could not get the door open.

She tries the door and because I had the foresight to lock myself in, she can't get in to help me. So I'm stuck in the shower trying my best to slide it open sideways, five people are freaking out in the corridor (there was just two of us, Abilasha said, when I was relating the story to someone else), and Eryl, one of the caretakers is rounding the corner with the key to unlock the door when in my frustration I slapped the glass of the shower door with the flat of my palm and...

the door swung right open.

Just like the swinging door it was and not like the sliding door I had convinced myself it was when I wanted out.

Never mind, I called out, I got it open.

After assuring everyone that I was fine, that I was out of the shower, and thanking them for their attempts to help me, I dressed and made my way to the Zendo where I engaged in some much needed 'centering'.

When I meet new people, especially people I am going to be spending a lot of time with, I tend to be a little reserved at first, because, as I have learned, I can be a little hard to take sometimes. But after you prove to everyone right off the bat what a freakin' total idiot you can be, I mean, what's the point, right?

So I laughed at myself and related the story later in the day to a few of the women who were feeling...less than enthusiastic at that point. We were, as a group, becoming, and but we hadn't become yet. We did all get well knitted together I think and easily by the mid-point of the week. All us individual threads got picked up and woven into this phenomenal group of women (and the three men in our midst) and artists sharing, with all the vulnerability that goes with that and support, and expertise.

Well. Needless to say, I was relaxed and just me after that.

Whatever that is.

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