Wednesday, September 9, 2009

the challenge

What is it with clothes?  The shorts I am currently wearing have three buttons and a zipper.  Do I really need all those fasteners on one pair of shorts?  

I went out to buy blue jeans before we left for Colorado.  I hate having to buy a pair of blue jeans.  All I want is a pair of straight leg, on the hip (not cinching my waist or five inches below my navel), undistressed plain ‘ole bluejeans with back pockets.  I don’t want them relaxed, I don’t want them skin tight (thank gods I grew out of that notion!), I don’t want them stretchy, I don’t want them with holes and I want them the right length!  Why is that so hard?  A man can go buy his pants by the inch.  What do women get?  Average.  Average with 4” spike heels.  I always thought I was, at 5’ 4” in height, fairly average.  No. no.  I’m short.  Know where you can buy short length jeans?  Me either.  When you find out, let me know.  So I buy my jeans in the men’s department.  31/30s.  (yes, yes, my waist is bigger than my leg length, thanks for pointing that out.)  What I want is Levis 501s for women.  Waist and length.  Blue.  Button fly.  Maybe trim the leg in a bit cause us ladies don’t have thighs as big as guys.  And it would be so easy to shop for them.  But no, no, women have to have 50 different choices out there and they all fit different and they are hung on racks helter skelter.  Which means that you have to look through every single rack and if you want to be assured that they ft, you have to try them on.  There’s regular, relaxed, slim. skinny, petite, stretchy, not stretchy, form fitting, high waist, low waist, pube waist, straight leg, boot leg, wide boot leg, flare, distressed, faded, stained, ripped, embroidered, glitzed in every combination you can think of EXCEPT, blue hip high regular fit straight leg jeans...the right length.  Not only that but I am inbetween sizes.  A six is too small, an eight is too big, a seven is only available in the junior department and I refuse to buy jeans there because, let’s face it, it’s been decades since I could even pretend to want to wear those clothes.

I finally settled on some after trying on 7 pairs of jeans.  It’s not too low rise, it’s not too faded and it’s not too much too long but they are stretchy, a little.  We’ll see.  Everytime I make a foray into women’s jeans, I am always sorely disappointed.  At least they were on sale.


  1. It IS a challenge, indeed. We should all be the same size to be able to buy clothes easily. Well, we just aren't.

  2. I can only imagine the turmoil you go through ... I being 5'8" have always had the other problem .. glad you found something

  3. I gave up on jeans. Black yoga pants have taken their place.

  4. Pube waist!!!!!!

    Oh how well I know those. Not because I wear them, but until my daughter's recent high school graduation, that's all she wore. That's all she could find to fit her 00-size bod. At least she wore longer tops! Phew!

    But I feel your pain, Ellen. Buying jeans is the worst. And when you finally believe you might - just might - have found a pair that meet the minimum requirements... you glance at the price tag and nearly lose your lunch. WHY are blue jeans upwards of 100 dollars? Please explain that to me. My daughter assures me that her LUCKY brand are worth the money, but I'm thinking the only one getting lucky in that deal is the LUCKY jeans board of directors, if you get my drift.

    And I just spent $60 getting 4 pair of jeans hemmed. Whassup wit dat? But at least the jeans were on the 90% off rack at Kohls. I'll wear anything that's 905 off. Even pube waist. LOL.

  5. rugby pants, cargo pants . . . that's where i'm at - but i'm a guy so this conversation probably doesn't really help does it? my wife is teeny tiny and buys all her clothes in "junior" stores. hmmm that doesn't help either eh? okey dokey. i think i'll pretend i'm having this conversation at home and find something useful to do!!! good luck with this one ellen!!! steven

  6. Oh I so wish I could have been that fly on the wall with a tape recorder....I KNOW how you do love to shop!!!!!!!

  7. Thrift store is the ticket for me. Still have to try 755 pairs on, but they're broken in and cheap.

    You raise a very good point. To whom do we register our complaint?

  8. I once bought a pair of jeans for 140 pound (no idea what that is in dollars ...), they were too long in the leg but I loved them. I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that the best thing to do would be to buy them and then cut off the bottom ... Of course they are now an inch too short and still lie in my wardrobe!

  9. Willow might have the right idea. Wow, never thought of giving up on jeans, but maybe that's the answer.

    Finding any pair of pants that fits is always a miracle. When it happens to me, the skies part and a ray of sunshine falls on the perfect pants, then there's a rainbow.

    Can't remember the last time that happened!

  10. Oh I love 501s. In the regular indigo. Love them.

    Have you shopped men's jeans lately? Took my husband to Kohl's and had quite a time sorting through all the styles. :|


I opened my big mouth, now it's your turn.