In order to save my faithful readers from mistakes, embarrassment and frustration, here is some stuff I found out the hard way. (Today’s font is Papyrus.)
You can’t wear your glasses on your head with one temple missing.
It’s impossible to herd a snake.
Don’t invoke the river gods unless you are ready for them to reply.
If you take your 11 yr. old granddaughters to the re-sale shop, don’t tell them to pick out a couple of tops while you go look at the ladies skirts. You won’t like the result.
Make sure the kite string is tied onto the handle before you let it all out.
Don’t go skinny dipping in a pond on property with a ‘no trespassing’ sign even if your friend does tell you she has permission from the owner.
Don’t do the dishes naked if you don’t want to be seen naked.
Make sure your canoe does not have a hole in it before you start a 6 day wilderness river camping trip.
If you start stripping the woodwork in three rooms of your house be sure you really like to strip woodwork before you start.
If you take your wedding ring off and put it on the edge of the sink be ready to do some plumbing.
Don’t hide the erect glass penis in the drawer of raffia and then tell your granddaughter that she can use any of the craft stuff for her project.
Never say never.