I'm still waiting for SPOT to arrange to have the three 'feral' kittens fixed and sent to their new homes. I have feral in apostrophes because they aren't exactly feral, not completely tame but not completely feral either. They are very wary but I've been doing what I can to acclimate them to human touch. As reported earlier, I am able to stroke all three kittens while they eat. Sometimes just two or three times as long as I don't try to touch their heads before they back off except for the brown tabby. He lets me stroke him the most. When I go over to feed them in the evening about 4:30 they come running out and hiss at me. Saturday night before I put food in the dishes underneath the screened in porch I sat on the ground with a handful of food in my outstretched arm calling to the kittens. The gray tabby circled me continuously, would approach but never got up the courage. I held out the other hand with food as well and, being hungry, all three would sort of approach but then back off because I was watching them. So I averted my gaze and waited patiently and the brown tabby finally got up the courage to eat out of my hand and then the female that looks like Momcat came and ate out of the other hand which really surprised me because she has been the most skittish. The gray tabby that I thought would be the first never did. After most of the food was gone out of my hands I filled their dishes. So I did it again Sunday evening and last night. They were quicker to approach last night.
I spent most of the day Sunday and the morning yesterday getting my new computer set up and all the data transferred with constant help via face time from my niece’s husband Greg so now I’m using the Mac mini with a Dell monitor. Yay!!! I’ve unplugged my ancient iMac and moved it aside.
When I wasn’t setting up the new computer Sunday I was moving more plants in as it dipped down to near freezing that night and we definitely had a frost.
But no rain, all the chances of rain dissipate so now I’m back to watering my yard and Pam’s. I’ve been doing a little maintenance over there, mostly weeding her few flower beds. She swore when she moved into that house that she was done with flower beds, just wanted a few plantings and an herb garden. I scoffed. Little by little a little flower bed appeared and then another and then another, five or six.
When all the family was here I think the grandkids went through some of Pam’s christmas ornaments and took ones they wanted. All her christmas stuff is in tubs in her shed. I need to sort through that stuff now that the immediacy of her death is over, take pictures and canvas her kids and grandkids and see if they want any of it before I donate it somewhere. She had an antique Santa that people have tried to buy off her many times.
It was a month last Sunday that I found her. Has it only been a month? She’s drifting further and further away. I’m a little freaked out when I think about it. Our father died of a massive stroke at 73, the age I am now, my sister at 76. She and I, we expected to take after our paternal Aunt Doll who lived well into her 90s and only died because she got tired of living so this was a cold splash of water in my face. What does that mean for me? Do I only have a few years left? Should I start getting my ducks in a row, preparing like my sister did? Her will and the letter that accompanied it that she started working on after she moved over here was so organized…here’s where this is, here’s where that is, this is what to do about this other, these are the things that are valuable, this book has all the information you will need, etc.; as if she knew somehow. Maybe she did. She was very open to the spiritual world, she saw ghosts unless she walled off that part of her psyche. I wondered if she would appear to me. So far no, not even in a dream, but then I’ve never had that ability to see.
They say one of the stages of grief is anger. I’m not angry. I’m sad that’s she’s gone, I’m sad that she abandoned me. I can’t think of her too much, about how sudden her death, without crying still.
OK, that’s enough of that.
