72 revolutions around the sun

I have a fairly high tolerance to pain, or I thought I did before this, and I think women in general have a higher tolerance to pain than men which some experiments have shown but which any woman who has cared for a man with a cold or flu knows intimately (no insult intended to my male readers). Maybe we have a higher tolerance to pain to help us through childbirth though we all, those of us who have gone through childbirth undrugged, would argue that notion. Childbirth is intense and transition is intensely painful but a different kind of pain. Childbirth never brought me to tears, too inwardly focused at that point, while the excruciating pain in my toe did bring me to tears a couple of times which I stifled as crying not only would not help the pain but it would add its own sort of discomfort...runny stuffy nose, red and puffy eyes. My toe was ugly enough, didn't need an ugly face to go along with it.

I don't like to cry. Every time I've been reduced to tears it's been out of emotional pain from sadness or misery or hopelessness or cruelty or any combination thereof and has just added to my misery. I've laughed myself to tears many many times but that's not crying and those tears have a different chemical composition anyway, and when my kids were young, even early teens, but worst when they were elementary school age, when I would have to go up against 'authorities' to protect or support my kids I would invariably quiver fighting back the tears. Now though, I don't cry. I spent too many years where I cried almost everyday until I was finally able to erect a protective emotional barrier. Oh certain things may still bring me to tears but those are external, like the scene in Forest Gump where he learns that Jenny's son is his. That brings me to tears every time no matter how many times I've seen it. But that's not crying either. I don't subscribe to having a 'good cry'. There's nothing good about it. Maybe that makes me emotionally stunted but sobeit.

Anyway, the toe is healing but it has kept me off my feet for the most part. I've been up and around since last Thursday but after a couple of hours my foot is tired and the swelling increases a bit. Minnie got her first, short, walk in a week on Friday. When we got back to the driveway she was all about keeping going, kept stopping and pulling in the direction of the long walk. Not today puppy, not today. Also Friday I took a picture and sent it to the doctor via the patient portal on the internet...is this normal? Got a reply this morning and he says it looks good, is healing properly. So that's good.

This is what it looked like Friday.

This is what it looks like today.

Needless to say I'm missing the last couple of weeks of work-out-in-the-yard-without-sweat-running-down-my-face weather. I have managed to take some pictures.

In general, the yellow clasping leaved coneflowers are in full bloom, the purple coneflowers have started blooming, the poppies are almost done, the love-in-a-mist and the rocket larkspur (what few that came back this year) are late but have started blooming, the Easter lilies, the last of the spring bloomers, all have buds but none open yet. The big backyard, with the exception of the clumps of yellow coneflowers here and there, is extremely ragged with everything going to seed and dying down. Hopefully it will get mowed soon and look tidier.

And yesterday was my birthday. I've made it through 72 revolutions around the sun. Here's me, 72 years and 1 day old...creases, wrinkles, droopy eyelids, thinned out lips, age spots, thinning eyebrows, and all. Hair is still dark though there's more and more gray scattered through it as time marches on.