Monday, November 21, 2011

S is for...

image via:

S is for sex! (now you didn't really expect me to pass this up, did you?)

I'm almost afraid to post this as I already get an avalanche of search engine hits from the repressed middle east for my naughty nakedness N post.

I want to thank Europe for sending all the prudes over to the New World.

Not really.

For all the near nudity and come hither of Madison Avenue ads, America is still one uptight country when it comes to sex.

When I was growing up sex outside of marriage was tawdry, dirty, meaningless, not to mention shameful. And many Americans still feel that way today.

It hasn't been all that long ago when 'nice' people did not talk about sex.

Kids were kept in the dark as if talking about it would ensure that they went out and did it. As if keeping them ignorant about it would keep them from doing it. Of course all it did was make sure that teenagers got pregnant and got married right out of high school.

There are still battles every couple of years in my state over sex education in schools. There are parents who still pull their children out of those classes. My sister-in-law was outraged that the students were going to be shown how to wrap that rascal with a condom and a banana. Or maybe it was a cucumber. I don't know that that was actually going on in the lesson on human sexuality but she sure was ranting and raving about it. Mostly ending with 'not my daughter'.

Abstinence, they say is the only way. But let's face it, sex is the strongest biological imperative there is. People are going to have sex, married or not. And teens are going to have sex because their young plump little bodies are oozing pheromones. It's why abstinence doesn't work. Life wants to replicate. Life demands to replicate. And it's pretty damn good at breaking down resistance.

Besides that, it feels really good, it's a great stress reliever, good for your abs and cardiovascular system. When you are poor, it's one of the few forms of entertainment available to you. There was even a time when sex was one of the ways you worshipped the gods. Many people still do...oh god, oh god, oh god, oh do that again!

But then women became property and their vaginas were used to further family fortunes and positions, to secure inheritance and descendents, male descendents if you don't mind and nobody cared if we were having fun. Virginity became the only measure of a woman's worth. Well, that and having boy babies.

So what's up with that, btw? What is the big deal about a woman's virginity?

I abstained from sex until I graduated from high school and let me tell you, it wasn't easy. I had to break up with my boyfriend as our petting sessions were getting a *little* heated. It wasn't because I wanted to save myself for marriage, like all good girls were supposed to do when I was a teenager, but because I simply did not want to get pregnant in high school. I personally knew of 4 girls who got pregnant in high school and I didn't know that many people. Living at home was hard enough without throwing that into the mix.

After I graduated though (this was in 1968), I determined to do it the next opportunity that came along. Love had nothing to do with it, it was just a thing to be shed of by then and one of the best decisions I ever made concerning love and sex and believe me, I made plenty of bad ones.

From that point on and armored with the new birth control pills, well, let's just say if Jimi Hendrix had asked me 'are you experienced?', I'd have to have said...



edit:  oops!  on my computer the 'pertinent parts' are in deep shadow.  I have just been informed that that is not necessarily the case on everyone's computer.  So my apologies to any who have been offended by the sight.  I'd alter it or take it down or at least make it smaller but that would seem a little cowardly since it's already been up there for half a day and besides, it doesn't offend me at all.


  1. you're such a hoot! an open book! :)

  2. I love how people assume that if you tell children nothing about sex that they won't be "tempted". Like I told my son, nature wants you out there and having sex starting around 15, the more babies the better -- but that we have the ability to postpone parenthood so that we can take advantage of furthering our education, traveling. He's 27 now, still dating, still working and traveling and having fun. No babies yet.


  3. The virginity fascination from men is because they see women as their thing and they don't want to share. What's sad to me is the number of women who treat themselves like things by inserting fake mammary glands into their chests, wearing uncomfortable clothes and shoes, and essentially being a beck and call girl. I know that's rather harsh, but I simply don't get it. Just me.

  4. Oh yes. This is a good one. I agree with all of it. I could write volumes in this comment but all I will say is- perfect!

  5. I did a double take on the photo...not a prude (I think), but not used to that either...gave my son condoms when he hit puberty...he used them as balloons...

  6. Ah Ellen - you did it! Good on you girl. Love this picture too.

    You know my views and no need to share them with all your followers but I am delighted to see this post (at last!)

  7. Ditto the not wanting to get pregnant thing - although I have to say that I took some chances in college!

  8. I think people would be surprised at how many teenagers are abstaining. I don't live in la-la land, but it isn't the advent of birth control [which as existed & been available for decades] that has caused the instances of teen pregnancy to go down in recent years. It is education, be it at home or school. As for your sister opting out her daughter on some aspects of "Family Health" - can't say that I blame her, as long as she is going to explain the same at home to her children. There have been plenty of instances where I thought we would do a better job and make the kids more comfortable by teaching them ourselves instead of having them sit through class with 20 other [same sex] peers and a strange teacher. So far, so good. . .with the 4 eldest onto their 20s and one teenager at home we haven't had a scare or a worry of being grandparents.

    All that said - it could be the example my sister's daughters set that just basically scared the crap of them. Her eldest had 4 kids by the time she was 17 [first at 13] and her sister had a baby 2 years ago at 18. All five out of wedlock and thcae 4 siblings all have different fathers.

    Go figure - I think someone missed the memo. heehee

  9. sex is so over rated...except for that one time...

  10. I have really great resolution on my computer! LOL
    Oh man are you ever gonna get hits now.

  11. Nothing has really changed, other than the values taken to have kids.

  12. Since you stopped by to comment I felt that I should return the favor...what a post I picked to comment on! Yes, the resolution on my PC screen is really good. I do think the prude front with all the un-prudish movie and TV stuff has us most schizophrenic as a culture.

  13. My goodness, Ellen,how naughty! Great "relief." It must be very popular wherever it resides.

    People are sexual beings and some haven't learned how to deal with it. We may have left behind those ideas of the sixties but they are still around in many circles. The photo is quite large on my computer. The print is quite tiny. Your post is going to be very popular. Your alphabet game is turning into strip poker, just kidding.

  14. My monitor resolution is fine and so it the pic.. and your fine post. You had me cracking up with the comment about worshiping the gods. Great S post. :)

  15. That pic was on page 116 of the copy of the Kama Sutra that I...ah...liberated from a store in 1966.

    Not that I paid any particular attention to it or anything.... ;)

    I'm of the opinion teens in a committed relationship should be encouraged to enjoy sex in all its permutations -- except for intercourse. The alternatives are fun, and reduce the risk of pregnancy to near-zero. As a bonus, they'll learn how to become better, more creative lovers when they DO get around to having intercourse.

  16. Ohgogohgodohgod.

    No, I never sent you any prudes. This is not how we see Americans, you're meant to be all mealy-mouthed and holier than thou!

    What's wrong with you Ellen? You're destroying my prejudices.

    I waited around for a bit, not wanting to get pregnant, but I had fun, all the same.

  17. i regret listening to the imaginary expectations of my parents!!! i made up for that decision in six months with a wonderful woman from friesland who opened me up to her and then myself!!! thanks for this ellen. steven (oh and on a different tangent entirely check this out ....


  18. What is this "sex" you speak of? I seem to remember something, but it's hazy...

  19. Ellen, I knew I liked you.

    Nice picture. I've seen several similar in my travels to Nepal. There is a Hindu belief that putting naughty pictures on a building will protect it from a lightening strike. The goddess Kumari (goddess of lightening and thunder) is a prepubescent girl and it is believed that she would be too embarrassed to go near a building with sex on it.

  20. came back to say congrats on your POTW!

  21. Congrats of didn't know whether to snicker or blush but decided it was immature to just hoot right out loud or send the cats in to change the screen(which they do when they are trying to sleep on the keyboard which is usually when I am at it)...but my dear girl, you are fun!

  22. What a great POTW (beats pumpkin pie ;)

  23. Here's how my husband and I feel about the whole mess: sex ed is fine as long as you're not showing the kids how to do it. I miss the good old days. Very clinical language with how you get pregnant. Here's a frog egg splitting. Followed by don't do it you'll get pregnant or a disease. While, this may not have worked. (I certainly didn't make it to marriage and neither did a lot of my friends.) It did slow things down a little.

    I can understand no one is going to make it til marriage this day and age. On the flip side, that doesn't mean you should run around procreating with everyone of the opposite sex. I'm all about the middle ground.

  24. You are brilliant at breaking these things down in ways I wouldn't think of, but I feel you've expressed my thoughts exactly! What's up with that?

    But I was one of the prudes. So sad. I can't get my youth back again, but why would I want to?

  25. Love this post!

    I used to love sex so much. In high school I did it as much as possible - I believe it saved my life in many ways during that miserable time.

    Sex is powerful; that's why we're so weird about it, you know? Yeah.

    Since the hormonal shifts of menopause, I no longer think about it. I don't miss it - free at last.

  26. Don't know how I missed this post! Congrats on the POTW, it's most deserving. You really know how to get people thinking! :)


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