dark days of one kind or another

Woke up to dark and rumbly this morning, raining off and on. The dog is, of course, a mess.

I’ve been working on the pomegranate painting following the suggestions of Codex who offers excellent advice on ways to improve my skill level and I’m grateful that he takes the time to help me with technique but I did not like where it went at my hands. I liked the painting much better before this last revision and spent much of yesterday trying to undo what I did, trying to move the light source back to the left, which is not easy. I’m definitely overworking this piece and will probably ruin it before I’m through. I have a hard time putting the brush down and walking away. I tell myself to just let it dry and then five minutes later I’m dabbing a little more on or trying to lift some of the color off.

I went to take a shower yesterday and when I looked in the tub I saw this. 

This tiny little gecko had to be just hatched, maybe an inch log. Took some effort to catch the little thing so I could release it outside and managed to break off a bit of its tail in the process but at least it didn’t get drowned. And I have no idea how it even got in the bathtub. I’m just glad I saw it as I turned the water on. It’s taken years for the geckos to recover from the flood in 2017.

The rangoon creeper is starting to bloom.

------------

I wrote the above Wednesday morning. Wednesday night a storm came through full of lightning and thunder and rain and a couple of tornados in the county. It rained all night, was still raining when I left for SHARE Thursday morning. All the low spots in the yard had standing water and the rain gauge had nearly 5” by the time it stopped. It cleared up a little for sunset and the air was pink

although the color had faded a bit when I took this picture of the eastern sky.

I did a little more work on the painting Wednesday afternoon, declared it finished and painted in the background. Dwarf pomegranate 4" x 4".

------------

Things are getting bad out there which is exactly what Trump wants. Police in LA are responding with violence, batons, tear gas, and the ‘less lethal’ rubber bullets, to unarmed protesters who have finally had enough of Trump and Stephen Miller’s round up of law abiding hard working contributing members of society, family men and women and their children, sending them to detention centers under deplorable conditions and deporting them to whatever country will take them. There is video of an Australian journalist who was intentionally shot, of an unarmed woman shot at point blank range just trying to get home in the building cops were standing in front of, of a woman shot in the head and left laying on the ground by police until one officer tried to render aid but they refused to call an ambulance, of another protester beaten with a baton by a cop on horseback and was trampled by the horse when he fell. Trump has usurped the governor’s power to activate the National Guard in California against Newsome’s wishes and sent Marines against American citizens on American soil (unsupported of course, he did not send food, water, or shelter). California Senator Padilla was forcefully removed from Kristi Noem’s press conference, thrown to the ground and handcuffed for wanting to ask a question. Trump has had a federal judge arrested, the mayor of Newark arrested for attempting to visit an ICE detention center with members of Congress to conduct oversight one of whom, Rep. LaMonica has been arrested and indicted over ‘trumped up’ charges. Trump is sending National Guard to other big cities in advance of Saturday’s planned No Kings Day protests against his ridiculous military parade and has promised harsh retaliation against any protesters who show up for it. And now, on Saturday he is going to have all kinds of military personnel and equipment in DC with an unqualified toadie in charge of the military ready to support Trump if he declares martial law. 

This is scary folks. What will the people of this country do if he declares martial law and turns the American military against Americans on American soil? 

post freeze work, finished painting, med report

Mid 50s out there, overcast and damp, dreary. Saturday was nice enough that i got out there and started cutting back some of the dead stuff; the lantana, the yellow butterfly ginger that hasn’t bloomed for a couple of years and probably won’t get any this year, the pink butterfly ginger at least what’s left of it, picked up the orange cosmos I had pulled out the week before, worked more on clearing out the overgrowth at the end of the shop. That five feet or so of cleared ground on the left is what I’ve done so far plus some behind the air compressor that was completely engulfed that you can’t see. That area used to be a nice patch of dewberry vines until the virginia creeper and wild grape vine took over.

I uncovered the ponytail palm and it looks good. Uncovered the other plants that always freeze to the ground and they did but I think covering them helps protect the roots. Took the larger pots out of the house and the smaller pots out of the garage so they could get watered by the rain predicted on Sunday.

I’ve declared this first part of the painting done, 4" x 4", and removed the blue tape 

and penciled in the shape of the zucchini below. 

I figure if I don’t like the way the zucchini comes out I can just cut it off. I’ve sort of picked an image for the next painting. I saved a photo of a landscape with the moon, all fading deep dark indigos. It will be another technique/skill building exercise. Not sure I can pull it off.

I had the TEE yesterday. I’m getting to be an old hand at this joking with one of the nurses that I could tell her what to do. I got the results today via the patient portal: “The WATCHMAN device is in good position; there appears only very trace leaking between the device and left atrial appendage (with maximal diameter of 0.2 cm). No evidence of any thrombosis in this leaking area or left atrium.” So, no change in the Watchman, the heart tissue did not heal over the leak in the last three months. No sign of blood clotting but I am on low dose aspirin and plavix so I wouldn’t expect there to be. I want off the plavix, the whole point of getting the Watchman was to get off the blood thinner and since this very small leak is within the normal range I expect to be able to stop taking it. I haven’t heard from the doctor yet about what the results mean and probably won’t until the end of the week. 

So the Watchman is stable but there were some other notes concerning the aortic valve that were not noted from the TEE three months ago. One that there are mildly calcified leaflets (part of the structure of the valve) meaning slight hardening (I looked it up) that can be a result of age but not necessarily. The other note was mild aortic regurgitation, meaning a slightly leaky valve. I have no idea if these conditions are newly developed from three months ago or just not noted previously or something to be concerned about. The third note was concerning the size of the ascending aorta, the value increased from 27 to 30 and while 30 is still normal the increase seems worrying. Anyway more stuff to talk to the heart doctor about. So that’s my health report for today.

miserable days ahead in more ways than one

Wednesday I went with my friend who is undergoing treatment for cancer to one of her doctor appointments. Because we live in a rural county it’s a two hour drive there and back, or nearly so, to certain appointments and treatment so when I can I accompany her to keep her company. On the way there I checked the weather forecast for the next arctic vortex barreling down on us. The first front turned out to be not that severe and most everything survived with little or no damage. This next one, no suck luck. They are predicting high to mid 20s for three nights Saturday through Monday and then Tuesday a low of 18˚ and the temperature will never rise above freezing. So the azalea buds forming will freeze; all the various lilies, the fire spike, the banana trees, the morning glory bush, the rangoon creeper, the pink trumpet flower, and more will all freeze to the ground. And if that’s not bad enough, we might get snow and if not snow, freezing rain. Yay.

I’m going to have to get Handsome Boy, Lovey, Twin, and Momcat in the shed with the little heater for one night at least. Feral Ghost will be on his own. I’m wondering if I can get them to follow me to the shop and get them in the studio for that night as it’s insulated and much more space. I’m not sure they’ll go in even if I put their food in there.

Add to that the impending doom of the incoming administration of unqualified ass kissers whose only desire is to carry out the demented orders of a guy whose emotional maturity stopped developing when he was five so my mood isn’t great today. As such, I’m limiting my exposure to all the depressing reports. It will do me no good to continue to read about the horrible people and horrible policies that are almost upon us. I know it’s going to be bad. How does that go? My need to be informed is at odds with my need for sanity. Something like that. If not sanity, serenity. Reading about it over and over will not stop it from happening. All we can do is resist. Of course if Hegseth gets okayed for the Department of Defense we might get shot in the legs for resisting.

The only rainbows likely for the next four years will be on my walls on sunny mornings.

Progress has been slow on the new painting, haven’t had much time to work on it this week but I’ll be mostly housebound Sunday through Wednesday so maybe I’ll get it finished. In the meantime here’s where I’m at. Keep in mind that the colors are more intense/saturated than the actual painting. I’m using a picture that I printed out years ago from a photo I took when I was working on the cast glass series of which this was one, the drawing I did of this, and pictures on the internet that I searched for but haven’t printed out for reference. In the end it’s probably not going to look like any of the sources but that’s ok. I’m liking what I have so far.

winter activities and the monster came to play

Here’s my annual cuttings of the yellow angel trumpet and the morning glory bush in water to root in case the ones in the ground don’t come back.

And it is cold out. Below freezing when I got up yesterday morning and when I wrote this it had just then creeped up to 33˚, clear blue winter sky and a little windy. My workroom was ablaze with prisms in the morning. Minnie and I ventured out before noon once it hit 40˚ and nothing looked damaged but we had another night a few degrees below freezing coming last night. This morning, obvious signs of damage, some total like the cosmos, others just bit like the fire spike, some still seemingly unaffected like the shrimp plant.

I returned the two books to the library Saturday that I’ve had out for over a month. One went back without even opening the cover and the other, that weird book by Keanu Reeves and China Milville, The Book Of Elsewhere, went back unfinished. After about 80 pages in I decided I was done with it. For one thing I haven’t had any real reading time as we’ve been streaming 6 seasons of (sci-fi) The Expanse and have started watching The Outlaws. Anyway, it’s rare for me to return a book unfinished. Usually I’ll plow through it on general principal even if I’m not invested in the story but the library called wanting their books back. 

Of course I didn’t just take books back, I also checked one out. It’s an anthology, Harlan Ellison’s Greatest Hits. Ellison was a science fiction writer (though hard to categorize his work) and one of my favorite authors back in my late teens and twenties when I read science fiction almost exclusively, before I started delving into the origins of religion and myth, buddhism and taoism, theosophy and new age, Campbell and Jung. Anyway, it’s been a long time since I’ve read Ellison’s works so this will be a little walk down memory lane.

So, The Outlaws. There’s three seasons and we just started season 2. It’s a British crime thriller comedy on Prime. We started watching it because it has Christopher Walken in it so we figured it had to be good. The premise is 7 individuals from completely different walks of life thrown together doing community service instead of jail time for their infractions as they get drawn into some serious crime while trying to save their lives and the lives of their families. 

This little monster came over Sunday and played while her daddy worked across the street in the shop. I was instructed to draw camping and then rain. She colored in my outline of the tent. Also drawn on demand was fire, an octopus, and skipping (a little human figure with wild arms and legs and wild hair) while she drew snakes and many legged octopi that turned into spiders that turned into birds.

The blue leg kicking up is from Paisleigh skipping, the pink is me not skipping and her octopus/spider/bird.

I’ve started on the new painting, putting the first underlying color on the anthers. This first image is very frustrating because it doesn’t look anything like what is actually on the paper. What I have so far is almost consistently a lighter lemon yellow with some overlay of an oranger yellow but still very subtle all done while it was still wet. This picture is more like the direction I’m going to take it as if it’s a future picture, work I haven’t done yet, and no amount of dickering with exposure, shadow, temperature, contrast is getting rid of the intensity or the enhanced color value.

so much for the mild winter, painting update, and mysteries

Our mild winter is scheduled to come to a screeching halt the second week in January as a polar vortex comes spiraling down dropping us into the 20s for two nights. Damn. Everything blooming and still green will die back. This is what's left of the monster rose bush. All that growth was upright but without all the growth underneath supporting it the first windy day blew it over to rest on the ground but I love the puddle of petals at the bottom. Sorry the picture is so dark but it was midday when I was over there and I was facing the sun. 

I’ll have to deal with dead banana trees which is a major pain in the ass chore. And I’ll have to cover the ponytail palm which is another pain in the ass chore especially if it’s windy which it usually is when I’m trying to cover it. And I’ll have to bring in the plumerias and the night blooming cereus which are even bigger than they were last year. The cereus is going to get pruned back some because it is just a monster. The biggest plumeria is planted in the ground and two pots are sunk. I’ve already talked to my grandson about helping me get those out and in the garage next Saturday. In anticipation, I rearranged the garage Sunday and brought the extra folding table in and set it up in front of the etched glass windows in my bedroom for the smaller things and the stag horn which is also bigger and almost too heavy for me to lift. Guess I’ll start moving things in towards the end of the week.

I worked on my painting all weekend. I’m not completely satisfied. I toned down the yellow a little more by adding a light blue wash as suggested by a commenter. The green at the bottom still needs…something. Composition-wise, the green is too even across the top for one thing and I’m thinking the background needs some subtle vertical elements. Also I can’t decide if the green is too dark or not dark enough at the very bottom. If it’s too dark overall, there’s not much I can do about that. So I’m going to just let it sit for a few days. I’ve removed the cut outs protecting the trees so this is how it looks now. I don’t think I need them for whatever I do next if anything but if so I can put them back on. Most of all I keep telling myself that this was a learning exercise. As usual the colors come out a little more saturated than the actual painting with my phone camera.

We’re all aware I’m sure that Jimmy Carter has left this earth. He was a better president than he got credit for I think and robbed of a second term by republicans. Carter had already reached an agreement to get the hostages freed from Iran but Reagan did an illegal backroom deal with Iran to hold them until after the election. Reagan won and thus began the movement of wealth up to the richest Americans and the hollowing out the middle class. After leaving the White House, Carter devoted his life to living his religious beliefs, doing what he could to help and lift up those less fortunate, a rare thing these days. The world is poorer in deed and spirit with his passing.

Two mysteries…

I got an anonymous comment, which I allow, on my last post yesterday, but mostly they are legitimate comments. Not this one. It was one word repeated at least 100 times, one big paragraph of the word ’die’. Why is it haters are always anonymous? Such a cowardly act. Was this supposed to make me sad or fearful? Did my art offend them? They don’t like roses? Or just some rando picking me and that post at random to vent their own unhappiness.

The other big mystery happened today. Got a package delivered from Amazon addressed to me and with the correct address; a bottle CO Q-10 gel caps. I didn’t order them, there is no charge on my credit card, and there is no record of the purchase on the account our family uses. Ah, mystery solved. My brother ordered them but his app had me as the default from when he sent me salmon for the holiday and he didn’t notice.

 

windy sultry day, mulling over my painting

There’s a strong south wind blowing today and it’s overcast and sultry, spitting rain now and then. I had the door to the little backyard open for a while. The rose bushes are at the south end but that wind blew a single rose petal into the house.

I mentioned previously that the roses were blooming. 

This is the sister to the monster rose bush over in the shop yard that I cut back drastically last month. While I was doing that this one in my yard just outside the fence around the little backyard exploded with growth. It will also get cut back severely when it stops blooming. These both came from cuttings I took of the one I had at my city house that my neighbor gave me as a cutting off her rose bush. I actually made three. The third I sent to Mary Moon and it now lives in Florida.

I’ve been working on the background of my painting. I’d like to get it finished before Monday. No particular reason for the Monday deadline other than I just want to be done with it. As I posted, the first little wash was a bit of blue at the top and I really liked the way it looked but then Thursday I started adding the yellow and green of the distant foliage and I really am not happy. Now that the first watered down yellow base wash and the light green base wash has dried the yellow is so intense even watered down and I’m wishing I had just done a patchy blue all the way. I mulled it over Thursday night during wakeful times, trying to think of what to do. I even thought I could cut the tree trunks out and place them on a new sheet of paper which would allow me to do a different background and also give a little dimension to the finished piece. (I may still do that). But because this is typical for me, not liking where I’m at in a process, whether I’m carving a model out of wax or sketching out a design for an etched glass commission or doing anything really, I’m just soldiering on.

Yesterday I took a wet paper towel and lifted some of the first yellow wash pigment and then used a sponge to splotch on the next orangey yellow. Then I waited for the paper to dry so I could add the last brownish yellow with a brush though I may put a light wash of brown over the whole thing. Then go through the same process with the green shrubbery at the bottom.

Turns out I didn’t get any more time to work on the painting yesterday because yesterday was Marcmas! Our son came out for a visit from the city and our daughter came over with her traditional gift of bagels from The Bagel Shop in Houston and then we all went out for a late lunch and margaritas at the Mexican restaurant here, just our core family. Of course I love my grandkids and great grandkid but there’s something special when it’s just the four of us, when our kids aren’t distracted by their spouses, children, and grandchild.

I did a bit of the brownish yellow which looks more yellow orange, so here's how it was this morning.

It’s a little misleading as the tree trunks aren’t the ones I painted but are cut out from a copy of the picture printed on card stock, taped at the bottom and top to protect the ones I painted while I work on the background. I think I’m going use the sponge instead of the paint brush to add more of the brownish yellow and then the brush to add in some brown. I may even put a light wash of brown over the whole thing to tone down the yellow because I want the tree trunks to be the focus of the painting, not the background.

Ended up I used the sponge with the brown instead of trying a light wash. I'm more pleased with it now. Tomorrow I'll concentrate on the green tones at the bottom.

a quiet day

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I don’t do christmas. There are many reasons and evolutions of my dislike of the holiday. I’ve written about some of them in the past and may do so again in the future, but not today. In a way, now, it’s one of my favorite days. Weird, right? But it’s a ‘dead’ day. It’s a day in which there are no expectations, no demands on my time or attention, no things that need to be done because the country has basically shut down, quiet and still. I couldn’t get anything done even if I wanted to. It’s a day when I can do whatever I want or not do anything. 

So what did I do yesterday? I wrote some, sort of a chapter in the biography of my life which I may add to at some point and I may or may not ever publish. I worked on my painting finishing the last tree and starting on the background,

I made an apple crostata with some of the apples from SHARE. 

I fed the outdoor cats and gave them their daily dose of affection. Even Twin who now lets me pet him fully with long strokes before I put out the food instead of just his head while he eats though I have to approach him slowly. It took almost a year for him to trust me enough for this while I’ve been able to pick up and cuddle the other two for six months.

And now that the day is over I can post a picture of my latest drawing. I did it as a gift for my brother. He and Pam exchanged gifts every year but it’s been decades since I sent him anything even though he always sends some edible goodie to me. But Pam is gone, the glue that held us together so now more effort is required of me to have a better relationship with my brother. So, one of the things my brother does is keep honey bees, hence the subject of this drawing. The bee itself is 3" x 3", colored pencil.

Speaking of bees, this bumble bee was burrowing deep into the throats of the pink trumpet flowers.

light, a star, painting progress

Now that I finally hung all the rest of my crystals in the east facing windows and the tallow and the pecan behind it have dropped all their leaves and the mornings are clear my room is awash with prisms cast on the walls, ceiling, floor, cabinets, inanimate objects, even the dog; some sharp, some indistinct. What took me so long to get them all hung!

----------

Last Friday was the open house at Hesed House and Kate, who did the origami workshop was showing people how to make a star so of course I showed up. 

The other thing was that Kel who was an intern at Hesed House for a summer, who had led the series of cardiac drumming sessions, however long ago that’s been (a year and a half, longer?) has graduated college with a degree in physical therapy and was back for a visit and a one time only cardiac drumming session that night and so again, of course I went to that. 

----------

This year in an effort to reclaim the solstice, to be an active part, however small, of the ancient traditions of the longest night and the faith that the light would return and that nature would reawaken, I gathered some of the roses in bloom, I cut a small bough from the cedar tree, made a small altar and lit a candle during the longest night. 

Of course, down here with the mild winter we are having this year, nothing has gone to sleep or rest. The roses and other things are in bloom, some of the spring weeds are already sprouting, the days have been mild but I will be glad for the longer hours of daylight. 

----------

I finally had some time this weekend to work on my painting. Now just one more trunk to do and then I can work on the background.