Friday, April 27, 2012

V is for...





Really, it's time I plowed on through and finished this alphabet thing, don't you think?


V is for....vasectomy

Marc and I decided early on, like most people in love and starting out their life together, that we wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, and we wanted them two years apart. And then we got exactly that. Two years and three days after our daughter was born, our son was born and it was time to go back on birth control.

We knew we didn't want any more kids and I didn't tolerate birth control pills well and the IUD I had had previously caused me to be in severe pain for the first day or two of my periods and those were basically the only two options for birth control available at the time besides condoms, which we had used between pregnancies, or a diaphragm, neither one of which we were thrilled about using. Sterilization or abstinence was the only sure way to avoid pregnancy and I don't know about y'all but abstinence was not an option.

Sterilization for women was serious business. Back then it was major surgery with hospitalization and anesthesia to get your tubes tied. Now, with the advances in medical technology, it's a much simpler out-patient procedure and there are several choices. You can get them cut, pinched, or plugged.

For us, hospitalization was out of the question and since vasectomy was the only available simple inexpensive out-patient procedure at the time and Marc's sense of manhood and virility was not centered on his ability to deliver sperm whether he wanted more kids or not, he made the appointment.

A bit of topical anesthesia, a little cut, a little snip, a little stitch and we were out of there in less than an hour.

Vasectomies were not that common back then. Just about all of our male friends were horrified at the very thought of 'cutting off their manhood'. Ironically, these same men had no problem with their wives undergoing major surgery to 'cut off their womanhood'. Just one of the many double standards women faced back then.

I don't know how men in general feel about vasectomy these days. Now that we have entered our 60s, the topic of avoiding unwanted pregnancy doesn't ever seem to come up. I would hope though that any man who is certain he does not want to be a father, takes the matter into his own hands and gets himself sterilized instead of expecting his female partners to be responsible for avoiding pregnancy.

All I can say is, Marc's vasectomy was the best thing to happen to our sex life and I thank him for it.




12 comments:

Rubye Jack said...

Good for your husband for doing this. Men in general can be so silly about anything to do with their penis. Ah well... The deed is done.

Ms. Moon said...

Same-same here.
It was the only form of birth control that ever worked for us.

Furry Bottoms said...

I once asked a friend of mine, who had just had his first son... if he would ever have a vasectomy? And he all out flat out said NO!!! Then the next pregnancy... his wife had unexpected twins. Now they had three boys and I think seeing his wife go through all that humbled him... so before you knew it, he was "fixed".

I think the husband being in the birthing room may be helpful in their decision for vasectomies and how much they love their wife!

TexWisGirl said...

what an honest, open post. :)

Linda in New Mexico said...

Good for your husband...now that is a man. Sex takes on a whole nother dimension when that intimacy is it's own reward and not a chance of parenthood.

The Bug said...

I always wanted to 'cut off my womanhood' so I could be EXTRA sure to never get pregnant no matter what might happen (because it was all about ME & what might happen to ME). But they wouldn't do it in my 20s & then we really couldn't afford it. Now I'm pretty sure that I'm beyond all that. Wouldn't it be a slap in the face if I were to get pregnant at the ripe old age of 48? Oh Miiikkkeee...

Joanne said...

It's the V that separates the men from the boys. Good for him.

jane.healy said...

Great post - I know lots of men who have had the 'snip' and those that haven't tend to be a little fixated on how wonderful their sperm is.

Out on the prairie said...

i remember being one sided on stopping conception. I took a friend for his when he was new to children, but never went the route.

Fireblossom said...

I use lesbianism and advanced age as birth control. So far so good!

Jayne said...

Vasectomies: they're good for you guys!
(Hey, it's the least they can do. And I thank my guy for that, too. ;))

Hilary said...

Good for Marc. Menopause worked for me. ;)